Thread by @ThomasHCrown

M: Children, there is a storm coming. Despite what you may have heard, it's not a hurri-
1: We know, it's a hurricane.
M: Let's try again.

3: We know, winds over 75 miles per-
M: No. No. None of you may speak now.
6: What about-
M: Especially you because all of you no.

M: So we have one day to clean up and get ready.
4: Why didn't we start yesterday?
M: I told you all to and you told me you were sick.

4: ...We were.
M: Also you're talking. Here is a list of things to do. I have things I must do. Decide among yourselves how to allocate.

[10 minutes later]
4: Dad.
M: No.
4: You don't even know-
M: Yes, I do.
5: That's not-
M: Yes, it is.

[1-7]: ...
M: ...
[1-7]: ...
M: Fine. Fine. Just say it.
4: We've looked at your list. We will help.
M: Wonderful! Everyone gets dinner!

4: But we have some suggestions.
M: So your Mom and I and the youngest ones may be dining alone.
5: That's not-
M: Yes. It is.

[1-7]: ...
M: Ye gods just say it!
4: Your ideas are good! But boring. We've written up some different ideas.
M: It's a picture of a cat.

6: Sorry! That's mine!
5: Well, that was stupid.
6: You're stupid!
M: No sorry the McLaughlin Group ended its run, where's the list?

4: [6] was supposed to have it!
6: The cat was better anyway! Look at how well I drew its ears.
M: The court finds you all in default.

4: No! Stop! It's not fair! Just because my stupid siblings want to draw cats shouldn't mean we're in default.
M: Life is unfair.

[1-7]: ...
M: ...
6: It's a good cat!
M: Just say it.
4: Your ideas are good but boring. We want to do things that aren't boring.

M: No. Start with the list- what now.
3: Why are we hiding from the hurricane?
M: There's no hurricane.
6: Why are we hiding then?

M: We aren't hiding, we are making sure that the windows don't get broken.
6: But shouldn't we hide from a hurricane?
M: Exeunt.

6: But what if the hurricane comes before we're done?
M: Then our dragons will fly us away.
6: Daddy, there's no such thing as dragons.

7: Can I name my dragon Optimus Prime?
M: Begin by picking up the backyard toys and sticks.
7: Is my dragon back there?

6: Should we hide in the basement if the hurricane comes?
7: No! I won't see my dragon!
4: Your dragon won't save you from the hurricane!

1: Guys, stop!
M: Thank you, son.
1: Let's go clean up the basement for when the hurricane comes.
M: I take it back.
1: But I'm helping!

M: No, yes, stop, wait, [2] get back here now!
2: Sorry.
M: Let's start again but not because I don't have spares.
7: Where are the dragons?

I'd like to pause and note that the next bit may not be an exact transcription because of the sudden onset migraine.

M: In the backyard, but they only come if you clean.
7: Dad, my dragon loves me. He'll come anyway.

M: No, stop. Just stop. Just clean. I'm walking away.
6: Should we pick up these garden stones?
M: No. Don't.

[1 hour later]
5: We picked up the stones!
M: Ok. Fine. Whatever. Did you get everything else?
5: What else?
M: The list.
5: We tossed it.