Thread by @MJ_Mouton

When my children's book "Charlie and the Tortoise"(Book on Evolution) was released, Ken Ham of the Creation Museum wrote a scathing review. I replied the only way I know how. I wrote a story about his Ark. Here it is...

Kenny Built a Boat

1/ Kenny knew that a flood was coming and that he should build a Boat.

But he was nowhere near the sea, or a lake, or a river, or even a moat.

2/ How big of a Boat, might Kenny need to weather the flood that was coming indeed?

He knew that his boat would have to be large.

He hired the best builder, but he was in charge.

3/ He told the builder to fire all the workers that would not sign a waiver that says they’ll accept Jesus Christ as their personal savior.

No problem said the builder I will give them the axes, even though you want to use money from everyone's taxes.

4/ I want my boat to house two of each animal.

Big enough for T-Rexes that may act tyrannical.

I want stalls for two lions, giraffes, and some zebras

A place to keep ants, and brain eating amoebas.

5/ The wood came by truck is how it was delivered.

I will build it exactly like Noah, Kenny had figured

Except I will probably use cranes, and lift, because sauropods no longer exist.

6/ He gathered his animals two by two.

Of course they lined up like well-mannered animals do.

The lions were standing right behind the gazelles

Who were standing behind two recently baptized Amazonian snails.

7/ The flood is coming! Kenny would say all the time.

Load up the elephants, load up the swine.

Load up the tigers, and load up the apes

In the kangaroo pouches, put 2 of each kinds of poisonous snakes.

8/ Every animal indeed, all 5 million species.

The builder then asked "What will you do with the feces?"

In fact "Where will you store all the food for the mammals?"

“The boat is quite full and we still have 4 and half million more animals.”

9/ “Get everything off of the Boat” Kenny said.

His face turned a color, the reddest of red.

"All of the animals will starve" the builder then said

A vein popped out of Kenny's neck and his head.

10/"Everything off of the boat" Kenny yelled.

Get the Zebras, the Lions, the anointed Amazon snails.

Get the tigers, and lizards, and both of the foxes.

Where are the hell are the termites I had in these wooden boxes?.

11/ All of the animals need to go home.

The Kangaroos can hop back to Australia for all that I care.

Remove the ant eater and the pair of brown bears.

12/ Replace all of the animals with babies that will not eat too much.

Like elephants so small they'll eat one peanut for lunch.

"I want frogs so young that they do not have legs,

And a pterodactyl so young it still has its egg shell on its head."

13/ Pterodactyls are extinct the builder told Kenny

They died 65 million years ago, so there are no longer any.

"Blasphemy" Kenny said from his boat with no water

as he then fired the best builder, because the builder was smarter.

14/ "They died from an asteroid" the builder said to Kenny, but Kenny did not care.

he just turned his nose and said “Where you there?"

15/ All that Kenny had left to do was to fill up his ark

With 5 million species of baby animals before the flood starts.

Kenny then learned that even 5 million babies was too much

Even if he planned to feed crackers to baby hippos for lunch.

16/ Kenny's boat was finally ready and prepared for the flood.

The flood came... it was not water... it was not even mud.

As Kenny stood on top of this boat that he ruled, and watched the flood that would be known as the flood of the fooled.

17/ Ken Ham's boat was not built to save anything's life.

Not even the brain eating amoeba or the amoeba’s nice wife.

It was built to sell gifts and the homeschool books that he wrote, to the flood of the fooled that help sail Kenny boat.

18/ THE END

He and I...and my daughter Lylah.

Excuse errors...a lot of work to put it into tweets.

Where=Were

Here is the Ken Ham Review of Charlie and the Tortoise. answersingenesis.org/train-up-a-chi…