So here’s a quick rundown on where we’re at on the immigration debate. [Lights cigarette, gazes longingly out window.] We were supposed to be having an open debate on the floor of the Senate by now, but it got jammed before the starting line...
GOP and Dems [pours shot] are arguing over the terms. GOP wants to bring sanctuary cities into the mix, Dems objecting. So we’re [pours second shot] we could be here til midnight as that plays out...
Meanwhile a bunch of different factions are drafting pieces of legislation but no one knows what, if anything can pass. Also [takes puff of opium] McConnell says they have til Thursday to sort out a deal.
So the Senate has just three days to solve this immigration crisis and [dies] they’re in the process of burning one in a standoff.
