he's soaking everyone
little kids are getting knocked over by the sheer force
"EVERYONE JUST PUT ON HAZMAT SUITS. CONSIDER GETTING GETTING A POOP HOSE YOURSELF. BECAUSE WE HAVE THIS OLD PAPER THAT SAYS POOP HOSES ARE A RIGHT."
"So perhaps we can do a mental health check on people buying poop hoses?"
"NO."
"Give the teachers poop hoses," some say.
"I did not become a teacher to spray someone with poop," one teacher remarks.
"You should have known that was a risk."
Arm teachers with poop hoses.
Put kindergarteners in tiny hazmat suits.
Make sure that kids carry clear plastic backpacks so they aren't hiding little turds in there.
But we will not regulate poop hoses.
Because of what this old piece of paper said.
Which would you rather be shot with? (Assume you will most certainly be hit squarely in the chest repeatedly.)
I am going to bed.