Thread by @ChefShwasty

The #HarryPotterLiveTweet of #HarryPotter and the #DeathlyHallows starts NOW.

Jokes on all of you! I have no soul LEFT to crush! It has evaporated from the Half Blood Prince. There's no way it can get worse.

This is gonna be all sunshine, puppies, and fucking rainbows.

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Oh shit Bill Nighe? I have no idea how to spell his name.

But I fucking love him.

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Jesus they're all adults now.

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I've got my depression meal of bagel bites ready to go.

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Did Hermione just erase herself from existence?

Dude. Already with this tearing up shit?

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Fuck you, Snape.

I loved you.

But now you're a demon ghost.

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He seems... Conflicted?

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Hey look its a room of people I kinda trusted.

Snape.

Scabbers.

Voldermort.

... Not so much on the last one. But you get it.

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Fuckstick looks like he's seen some shit.

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Brush Voldie is a RACIST

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These fuckers are hardcore.

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And then Sirius came back and arrested everyone with wolfboy and then Matt Smith came out of nowhere and Doctored all up in that bitch and made Dumbledore come back and all was right.

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This room of people makes me happy.

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I don't have to worry about waking up at 5AM for work tomorrow, so I am NOT holding back on the whiskey tonight.

Feel like I might need it.

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This is fucking weird.

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Harry Potter and the Clone Fetish.

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ON YER HARRYS

GET SET

AAAND

HARRY

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Harry looks like R2D2 by comparison to Hagrid.

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Woah WHAT

THEY KILLED THE FUCKING OWL

IS NOTHING SACRED

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I'm just gonna go punch noseless people after this

If you ain't got a nose, stay the fuck away from me

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I mean, was the owl necessary? That didn't need to happen.

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They're gonna be okay.

I don't know who it is.

Who got hurt.

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I fucking love their friendship

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George isn't dead. He's just hurt.

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I am GONNA TURN THIS MOVIE OFF IF HE DIES

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THEY KILLED MOONEY

IT HAS BEEN 20 MINUTES

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I didn't make enough depression bagel bites.

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Ohhhh who is doing this FUCKING smear campaign

Get hurt

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So are Harry and Ginny a thing?

Because.

Ah yeah. Its a thing.

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Slartibartfast came to the wedding.

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Dumbledore's middle name is Brian.

Haha.

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These are all gonna mean something.

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THE SWORD IS BACK

oh. Never mind.

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The sword does what it wants.

It might be off having a nice holiday somewhere.

Let the sword be.

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Hey

Hey guys

I think this wedding is gonna end poorly

Just like EVERYTHING ELSE SO FAR.

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BUBBLES

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GET OFF BUBBLES YOU JACK

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What were the initials from the last part of the last movie?

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Here we go.

Messed up shit.

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The ministry is

WOAH HOLY SHIT

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FUCK GET THE FUCK OUT

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If this were three movies ago, the gag would be they'd get all hyped up on caffeine and cause some hijinks. JESUS I CAN'T RELAX FOR A SECOND.

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I'm on edge.

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Um excuse me

Why was that

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They're a throuple, aren't they?

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RAB!

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Oh shit RAB is a Black.

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... You know what I mean

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Sirius' elf. Imma just call him "Nasty"

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Neville being a fucking BADASS.

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AH FUCK ME IT'S PINK BITCH

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Quite a few WWII paralells.

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I never thought I'd be happy to see Dobbie.

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And he has SHOES

lookin' good, Dobs. Lookin' good.

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So what happened to the people who they're impersonating's clothes? Did they just leave three naked strangers in an alley?

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SINK THE ELEVATOR. TAKE OUT PINK BITCH

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Should I make another drink now?

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GET HER HARRY

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DEER NUKE

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Why is Ron still...

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AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

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If I gave someone a passionate kiss and it turned out to be Ron

I wouldn't be

Like

The MOST mad.

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Yo what.

What is going on

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Splinched?

Looks painful as hell

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Have you tried... Hitting it with a rock or something?

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I can actually feel my pulse in my fingers. This is true anxiety.

This is not good for my blood pressure.

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Harry's being tainted by the Horcrux.

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Snape is headmaster?

I mean... Weird change. But... Huh.

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Who the hell are these?

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I know they're teens and shit

But why is she wearing perfume?

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Why is Ron looking so mad? Like not just wounded, but like... Evil

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I want the sword

Can I call dibs

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Ron. Chill.

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I'm gonna watch so many happy kitten videos after this movie.

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I love that they're friends.

God damn it. No. No tears.

Stop it.

STOP IT.

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Put... Put it in your mouth, Harry.

Scared........ Potter?

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Oh they're going to a HOLLOW where people DIED

Its like a HALLOW of DEATH.

Maybe like a DEATHLY... ah nevermind

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A child in real life just screamed outside.

I've never heeded a warning more.

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Tf is the triangle thing

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I'm going to call my parents and tell them I love them after this movie.

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Hey are they speaking snake to each other?

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Woah what what what WHAT THEBFUXK

SHE WAS A SNAKE

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Hermione is dual-weilding wands. I wanna see some shit.

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She broke his fucking wand?

I never thought I'd be able to say that with a straight face, let alone be sad about it.

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Its Harry's nuke.

Follow the nuke, Harry.

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OH IS THATBTHETSWORD

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This seems a poor idea, honestly.

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Called that shit

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Who the fuck

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I SCREAMED

I ACTUALLY SCREAMED

RON!!!

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Holy fuck

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KILL IT RON

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God I know this feeling, Ron.

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Ron just earned a fucking promotion in Dumbledore's Army.

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Ron, you wake that woman up right.

Give her a kiss.

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Just fucking kiss

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God dammit.

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Well this is kinda an awkward moment. Where's Bubbles?

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Sign of the Deathly Hallows?

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Was James the son of the third brother?

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They took Bubbles

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PUT ME IN THIS MOVIE I KNOW KARATE IMMA FUCK SOMEONE UP

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Ah shit. Snatchers.

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Shit I need to make a drink but everything's too intense.

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Come on.

Redeem yourself, Blondie.

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Jesus Helena Bonham Carter is unstable.

This character is kinda off the wall too.

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BUBBBBBBBLES

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Alright Dobbie fuck someone up

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*Sniffles* fuck you Scabbers

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GO RON

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God dammit. Come on. Something has to go right.

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MY DOBBS

GO GO GO

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Dude snapped his finger.

Is Dobbie like as powerful as Dumbledore or something.

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Seriously.

No.

Please no.

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I am filled with an incomprehensible rage.

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I hate myself for the things I said about Dobbie

He only wanted the best

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The wand isn't

Nope, its there.

Fuck.

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Oh god I am not ready for tomorrow.

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Doing shots now. I can't deal with this.