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Santa Shwasty @ChefShwasty
, 4 tweets, 1 min read Read on Twitter
I just put my foot in my mouth so bad that I'm choking on my own knee

Heard through the grapevine that a friend of a friend is leaving their job to start their own business

So I swing by with coffees to congratulate him on the bold move
I say "Hey, heard the news, congrats! It's a big step to leave your job and strike out on your own!"

The place goes dead quiet

He stutters

"Yeah, uh thanks, um... Yeah..."

So he then turns to his employees (he's a manager) to say:

"Sorry, I wanted to say something sooner..."
HE HADN'T TOLD ANYONE

HIS ASSISTANT MANAGER IS LOOKING AT HIM WITH A COMBO OF DEPRESSION AND ANGER

THE OTHERS JUST LOOK HEARTBROKEN

HOW

WHY

WHY DID I DO THAT

WHY DID I DO THE THING THAT I DID

I AM FILLED WITH ICK
MORE IMPORTANTLY

HOW DID I FIND OUT ABOUT THIS THROUGH CASUAL MUTUAL FRIENDS BEFORE HIS OWN FRIENDS

WHYYYYYYY
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More from @ChefShwasty see all

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This is what I did last night instead of sleeping, and this is a true story:

'Twas the night before returning to work,
And all through the house,
Only one creature was stirring,
And it was THIS fuckin' louse
The talking of anxiety
hung thick in the air,
For fear that Super Chad
Would STILL BE THERE
Chef was snuggled
all warm in his bed
While visions and fever-dreams
Fucked with his head
Read 29 tweets
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So after brief reflection, I've come to the conclusion that Drunk-Me™ in my early-20's was #MyOwnWorstEnemy

The following are ways that I used to intentionally sabotage myself for jollies:
Drunk-Me™ is #MyOwnWorstEnemy because...

I once invited everyone in a bar back to my place for an "after party." Hour later when I went to leave I wondered why people were following me. Took off running with my friend. We remembered the next day

(Lived withing walking dist)
Drunk-Me™ is #MyOwnWorstEnemy because...

Attended a party in mid-October. After way too much rum, decided to go swimming. Lined up a trampoline and did a double front-flip into the pool.

Wasn't their pool

Wasn't their trampoline

Wasn't their dog, either

More running ensued
Read 8 tweets
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#ShwastyHalloweenSpecial starts now with the #LiveTweet of #HocusPocus!

I know fuck all about this movie, and honestly didn't even know it existed until people started screaming for it to be in the polls

So... Here we go. Press play... NOW!
Queue the french horns or whatever
#ShwastyHalloweenSpecial

We open to a boy sleeping

Horses

Chickens

Sheep

And a young Carey Elwes

Wait shit wrong movie
Read 110 tweets

Related threads

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I need clarification on this one...

@RepSwalwell said Donald Trump's "impulsive behavior," or threatening the use of force vs. DPRK, canceled the summit that did in fact happen.

But the use of nuclear weapons to vaporize fellow Americans in neighboring states is on the level?
2. What makes @RepSwalwell so sure the military would even side with the government, or use nuclear weapons on civilians?

🤔
And, just to be fair, here's the article for the reference I made. There appears to be a pattern of behavior with Mr. Swalwell, who is eager to put his foot in his mouth. One might even say, "impulsive behavior." Again, the summit happened. Marinate on it. freebeacon.com/national-secur…
Read 3 tweets
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I have ignored this #Leratosengadi #HHP issue for the past week because it has been such a huge trigger for me.

My father passed away almost 3yrs ago in the wee hours of the morning after a visit to the casualty unit at the hospital since they couldnt find anything wrong.
Without casting aspersions on my rrakgadi, o fitlhile ko gae about 5hours after everyone and after the mortuary had collected my dad's body claiming gore o ne a na le mabaka to sort out before 6am...

I guess each to their own...
Needless to say, she was pissed gore the body was gone and claimed gore she had some cultural rites to perform before the body was taken to the morgue.

Also, she failed to recognize my mother as the grieving widow who had just lost a husband who she met in 1984 & married ka 2000
Read 18 tweets
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What is this shit?

Seriously, any professor who is saying that students had a duty to uncover sexual harassment and so their actual knowledge absolves them of guilt needs to be ashamed of themselves.
You are PART of the vetting process. If you vouch for someone or sugarcoat what you know, you are setting students’ minds at ease.
I also want to call out something that is a major failing here: even if you told every woman that AK was a harasser, not every man is comfortable or happy in an environment like the one Kozinski fostered.
Read 14 tweets
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'Until last week, Karen Monahan’s progressive credentials had been impeccable.

But now the activist is one of two women who have accused one of the top figures on the left of physical and emotional abuse.'

@Sultanknish (full text) ⤵️
frontpagemag.com/fpm/271025/kei…
Born in Iran before the Islamic Revolution, she was adopted by American parents and not only identified as an Iranian-American, but also worked with the pro-regime National Iranian American Council (NIAC).

⤵️
Keith Ellison was also a NIAC regular. He had spoken before the Iranian group and had received fundraising support from it.

The first Muslim congressman from Minnesota, with a list of Islamist and leftist connections as long as his right arm, was a natural NIAC ally.

⤵️
Read 45 tweets
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Do you know how I know my husband is my #Soulmate?
Because he can sit there for 3 hours and talk to me about how fucked the world is, how misunderstood I am, how my growing up influenced my current behavior and how he doesn't communicate enough. And through all the bullshit,
through all the tears and jokes and laughs and getting to know each, through all the sharing and confiding all those secrets none of us are proud of, through all the growing up and bettering ourselves... he is sticking by me and still loves me. And when I have a girly mood
that I need attention and love and cuddles, and a firm grip to hold me and tell me everything is going to be ok....
When I need I soul to understand without judging, to know the things we do for survival without questioning the differences of what we do with a full belly and
Read 25 tweets
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If you find yourself typing this or something similar, instead consider whether you put your foot in your mouth and you should apologize.
Let's talk about why this is problematic and what more nuanced guidance might look like. I have time on this Muni train.
Right off the bat, claiming that 12-18 months is too short before leaving a job creates unrealistic expectations. My experience is that this is guidance you get for the *minimum* time you should stay at a toxic job before bailing out.
Read 17 tweets

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