Call with bank: “Excuse me sir, just have a routine question about your transactions. Are you American?”
“Yes.”
“Ah OK that’s all I need to know.”
“Usually you need to know more for FACTA.”
“Oh I’m not in Compliance I’m in Sales.”
“Oh?”
“Yeah you buy dollars.”
“I do.”
/2
“Yes.”
“Ah OK that’s all I need to know.”
“Usually you need to know more for FACTA.”
“Oh I’m not in Compliance I’m in Sales.”
“Oh?”
“Yeah you buy dollars.”
“I do.”
/2
“So I assume you have some form of transactional intent in dollars.”
“Yes, I can...”
“No need no need; just wanted to confirm you weren’t trading for investment purposes.”
“Oh. I thought the bank was pretty OK that?”
“Oh if you were trading for investment purposes, well:”
“Yes, I can...”
“No need no need; just wanted to confirm you weren’t trading for investment purposes.”
“Oh. I thought the bank was pretty OK that?”
“Oh if you were trading for investment purposes, well:”
“The bank wants to convey its appreciation for your business and let you know that if you want more dollars we will sell you all the dollars.”
“... Uh I’m good.”
“Yeah.”
“I gather it’s a good thing I’m not buying for investment.”
“Well you could have plausibly had all sort of...”
“... Uh I’m good.”
“Yeah.”
“I gather it’s a good thing I’m not buying for investment.”
“Well you could have plausibly had all sort of...”
“... investment objectives but yeah short story if we thought you were good at this I would not be calling you.”
“Thanks.”
“No problem! Happy to satisfy all of your currency needs!”
“Thanks.”
“No problem! Happy to satisfy all of your currency needs!”
In case it isn’t obvious from the subtext here: currency trading is a very bad way to make money for retail customers and trading against your bank is a *particularly* bad genre of it.
They can literally pay people to call you to do it more.
They can literally pay people to call you to do it more.
If the entire background to this is mysterious to you, the two missing bits of information are "Patrick lives in Japan" and "Retail savers and investors, using that word loosely, in Japan purchase extremely large amounts of foreign currency for primarily speculative purposes."
Partly it's because FX is basically sold as legalized gambling (which, aside from pachinko, does not exist in Japan at levels sufficient for demand) and partly it's because the interest rate environment has been so low for a generation that keeping savings in FX sounds reasonable
The pitch goes something like "Why earn 10 bps on a two year bank CD when you could earn 2% APR on a CD at the same bank denominated in dollars?" "SOUNDS GREAT!" "Cool you have to buy the dollars from us; that OK?" "WOULD A BANK STEER ME WRONG?"
Well, closer to 1 bps at the moment. What's a decimal place between friends.
