Thread by @BryanDRoth

'Twas the morning of #IPADay, when all through the house
INSATIABLE ANIMALS were stirring, foaming at the mouth.
Their Plineys and Headys stocked the fridge with great care
Knowing that whalez would be slayed with none to spare.

There was no point to stay nestled in bed
While visions of hops danced in their heads.
So out on the lawn they created such a clatter
Grabbing high-ABV beers that would make their bellies grow fatter.

Chairs in hand, down they went
With plans of wasting a day and getting bent.

But in that same moment, they heard a great noise
So they turned their heads to see a group of boys.
Not boys, but men! So lively and quick
Our heroes knew in that moment they had to be slick.

“Grab the Julius, Sip of Sunshine and don’t forget Juicy Bits!
They want what we have and it's giving me fits.”
Inside they went, arms full of bottles and cans
Hiding from oncomers, who ruined their plans.

“Come on, guys!" They shouted. "Just share what you’ve got!
It’s early August, we’re thirsty and out here it’s quite hot.”
The INSATIABLE ANIMALS were afraid and wanted nothing of it
So they held their IPAs close, the ones that they covet.

Nestling the cold beers so safe in a neckbeard
Our heroes sipped Tropicália hiding from those they feared.
Because for those men, something in them just snapped
They were obsessed with beer holidays, and wanted a badge on Untappd.

Happy #IPAday, all my INSATIABLE ANIMALS