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Jared Pechacek @vandroidhelsing
, 5 tweets, 1 min read Read on Twitter
I can't believe the All This Abundance For $11 guy is for real. I'm swan-diving into the photosphere.
My favorite parts are the replies where people are like WHAT IF I'M FEEDING A FAMILY OF FOUR and he's like THEN JUST SPEND $44 and they're like MONEY DOESN'T JUST SCALE UP LIKE THAT AND THAT'S $44 ON FRUIT and he's like WELL I'VE GOT ENOUGH MONEY, SO WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM
Or the one where someone says "where's the protein" and he says something about amino acids in a simpler form, and Mama Pechacek didn't raise no nutritionists but I don't think that's a thing.
They're goddamn plums, that'll just go right through ya and leave nothing.
HOW IS THIS GUY REAL AND NOT AN ELABORATE PARODY
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More from @vandroidhelsing see all

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About to try the juniper latte, pray for me.
Official review: the juniper latte is like making out with a Guillermo Del Toro wood nymph
The juniper latte is like drinking a vanilla latte while trimming a hedge.
Read 8 tweets
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this is the church you go to if you think God is a strip of pulsing tendon at the center of the galaxy
this is the church you go to if you think God is best worshiped by walking barefoot upon upturned carpet tacks and the Eucharist is a panicked scream in a basement
this is the church you go to if you have identical ones built at ley line intersections across the globe, and at the moment of the eclipse you gather to watch the green light build and aim itself at the sun
Read 20 tweets
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TIMES NEW ROMAN IS A GARBAGE FONT. IT IS LIKE HAVING GRAVEL POURED IN YOUR EYES. IT'S LIKE BREATHING TAPIOCA PUDDING. IT'S THE NICKELBACK OF TYPE.
Times New Roman is like a blurry dick pic from Pliny the Elder.
Times New Roman is like getting licked by a cow you hate.
Read 6 tweets

Related threads

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REAL TALK: Going to therapy is a privilege.

Not everyone can afford a therapist or find one in their area who is "safe" (not going to cure their identity).

It breaks my heart when I see posts that assume everyone has a therapist, access, or means to one.

Remember this.
"But it's only $30/60 a week!"

Yeah, even with insurance, therapy is expensive. That's money people with chronic health issues might not have.

We pay several doctors and still have to pick up Rx and lab costs.
In the south, queer people have to screen or audition therapists to see if they're phobic.

"Are you a raging transphobic? Do you believe asexuality is a thing? Will you dismiss my gender identity as fake?"

Some professionals do believe asexuality can be "cured," btw.
Read 8 tweets
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The entire British Establishment elite is now calling for anyone who opposes the wearing of the burka to be effectively made an outcast in the UK. These are exactly the same people who're always drawing parallels between Brexiteers & racism how it works & what to do. Thread. 1/20
Create a strawman, in this case the word “Islamophobia” a made up word which has been wrongly attributed to the late, great Christopher Hitchens “Islamophobic is a word created by fascists, and used by cowards, to manipulate morons.” Instead of by Andrew Cummins who said it. 2/20
Create a victim narrative which is then hypocritically used by the entire British Establishment elite in order to accuse everyone else of not being “multicultural enough” in order to force even more draconian speech laws and “diversity” thrust upon us. 3/20
Read 20 tweets
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people mean well but saying "if you're mentally ill, reach out" is just... I see it from other MI people too. But like, we know the hotlines exist, we know we have doctors.
not saying don't share resources with people, but it all just feels very simplistic tbh. even if you can, phoning a hotline isn't necessarily helpful for many people anyway.
I wish people would realise that even with therapy, meds, supportive family and friends, psychs, hotlines, etc., many of us are still going to be very mentally ill.
Read 41 tweets
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THE WATCHMAN

[...] "The watchman’s task has always been a thankless one.
"There are treacherous fifth column elements, who are really working for the #defeat of the #nation, at the hands of its enemies.
"These subversive elements readily gain and hold the #public’s ear, because they soothingly tell the people what they want to hear. Go back to sleep, no danger can come, and there is nothing you can do.
Read 134 tweets
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Yesterday, Iceland's government convened for the first time after the summer break.

At midnight the next day, the government has fallen.
This one... is going to require some context.
Throughout the summer, it's been coming to light that the government has been as-good-as-secretly pardoning child molesters. Seriously.
Read 36 tweets

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