Thread by @JasonKirell

Okay, I'm going to call this story "Crow-Call Conner & The Interpersonal Communications Class Disaster."

Gather 'round, kids.

Just to catch people up, today was the first day of classes for me. Usually the first day of classes is spent going over the syllabus and introducing ourselves to each other.

This was no different, except for how the professor of this communications class chose to go about it.

Instead of just going around thr room and introducing ourselves, he decided to play a game. Basically a chain game with alteration.

First person goes, and they give themselves a nickname. So if your name is Ted, you'd be "Terrific Ted" or something.

Then the next person would go, say their alteration name and the name of the person who went before them. So you'd go around the room until you got to the very last person, who had to read back like 25 names.

Terrific Ted
Brave Betsy
Evil Ernie

Stuff like that.

So about five people go and then we get to...Conner.

Conner was literally putting on a fake English accent even before this game started. He also wouldn't shut up from the moment the class started.

I hated him already. By the end of the class everyone did too.

Connor decides his name is going to be, and I quote "Crow-Call Conner because crows say 'caw caw.'"

The professor is like, "ha ha, okay next."

The next person goes and he says it back starting w Conner, but he just calls him "Crow-Call Conner."

Well, Conner wasn't having it.

"NO, ITS CROW-CALL CONNER BECAUSE CROWS SAY CAW CAW."

Everyone laughed because we thought he was joking.

Conner wasn't joking.

The next student goes, gives his name, the name of the kid before and goes "Crow-Call Conner."

Again, Conner cries out "CROW-CALL CONNER BECAUSE CROWS SAY CAW CAW, SAY THE WHOLE THING."

A few awkward laughs.

Next person. Same thing. Same response from Conner.

Keep in mind, there's still about 16 or 17 kids left to go and Conner was determined to have each one say his name in full like he was motherfucking Khaleesi of the great grass sea, breaker of chains, the unburnt, queen of the seven kingdoms or some shit.

So we keep going and Conner keeps fucking interrupting every time someone shortens his stupid fucking name like any normal human being would do, to the point at which people in the class are straight up telling him to his face "NO, I'M NOT GOING TO SAY THE WHOLE THING."

It became like this surreal battle of wills between those who would give in to Conner and say his name and who would stand defiant of the Crow king.

Eventually we get to the very last person and the game ends.

Then the professor tried to go around and remember everyone's name and the anticipation of what he would do when he got around to Conner was so great you could cut the tension with a chainsaw.

So the professor, asserting his dominance like a silverback gorilla, just called him "Crow-Call Conner."

And what happened next will haunt my nightmares worse than anything I saw in Afghanistan.

Connor reaches into his pocket, pulls out his cell phone, brings up YouTube AND STARTS PLAYING A VIDEO OF CROWS SCREAMING.

He did this WHILE THE PROFESSOR WAS STILL GOING AROUND THE ROOM.

Simultaneously the room was awash in the sounds of screeching crows, a professor trying to remember if it was a particular girl was Happy Hope or Hairy Hope, and the groans of 25 other people who can't believe this is happening.

Eventually Conner put his phone away, the professor basically did his best to try to ignore him the rest of class and we all left wondering what the fuck we all just witnessed.

I've never seen anything like this in a classroom, and I saw a kid jump out a second story window once in high school.

So that's the story of Crow-Call Conner & The Interpersonal Communications Class Disaster.

And just for those wondering, my name was "Jesus Jay" because, as I told everyone, "whenever I post something to Twitter people usually respond 'Jesus, Jay.'"

God bless teachers and professors who have to put up with students like this.

Although I can't imagine students could be much worse.