LAW 8: Make other people come to you – use bait if necessary.
If you force the hand of the opponent, you can win the war before it's even started. To react = to act from weakness.
But the psychological roots of the law go beyond what Sun Zi would tell you.
If you force the hand of the opponent, you can win the war before it's even started. To react = to act from weakness.
But the psychological roots of the law go beyond what Sun Zi would tell you.
1. When you approach, you tend to do so with attachment to the outcome.
You make assumptions about how the other person should be and form expectations about what ought to happen next.
This makes you rigid, needy and reactive. Which is weak and appeals to no-one.
You make assumptions about how the other person should be and form expectations about what ought to happen next.
This makes you rigid, needy and reactive. Which is weak and appeals to no-one.
Neediness is repulsive for good reason. To be needy is to impose your arbitrary values and expectations on others.
People don't care for entitlement.
Understand that no-one owes you that. Approach every relationship and interaction with awareness of your Value, nothing more.
People don't care for entitlement.
Understand that no-one owes you that. Approach every relationship and interaction with awareness of your Value, nothing more.
2. When you attract people with your value, you impose powerful filters that keep off most of the needy and the insecure.
Instead of micromanaging relationships that could fall apart any moment, you invest in your betterment, which accrues to you no matter what.
Instead of micromanaging relationships that could fall apart any moment, you invest in your betterment, which accrues to you no matter what.
3. Making people come to you compels them to qualify themselves. That gives you more information to decide if the relationship is worth investing in.
4. Aggressive people are often blind to evolving conditions. They're so focused on their plans that they don't see the traps.
Letting people come to you leaves more mental space for attention to detail. You're less likely to be swindled or ruin a good thing with paranoia.
Letting people come to you leaves more mental space for attention to detail. You're less likely to be swindled or ruin a good thing with paranoia.
5. You can use attraction to give people breathing space and room to maneuver.
High-quality people often look to qualify you before jumping into a relationship. They may be put off by an aggressive approach.
Showcase your value and let them approach on their own terms.
High-quality people often look to qualify you before jumping into a relationship. They may be put off by an aggressive approach.
Showcase your value and let them approach on their own terms.
6. Deciding when to approach aggressively and when to entice others to approach is an art and a craft in its own right.
Master it through deliberate practice and it will serve you well for a lifetime.
Master it through deliberate practice and it will serve you well for a lifetime.
This thread is one of many uncovering the Power of Mind behind the 48 laws.
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