Look guys, we really REALLY need to stop acquiescing to this bullshit "locker room talk" narrative. I was in many sports all the way through high school and college. We managed not to make casual jokes about assaulting women. If someone was out of line we'd call them on it.
Frankly, in my years I've seen MORE "locker room talk" in front of women than I ever have in locker rooms. In locker rooms there's no women to see us say "Dude, what the fuck? That's not cool." Oddly, we're often LESS entrenched in macho posing than when a woman might see us.
If we can stop pretending that this shit is normal and "just guy talk we have all the time" maybe we can extend that OUT of the locker room and let ourselves and our colleagues call each other out for their bullshit OUT of the locker room.
I got plenty of regrets and things I'd change from those days, but I can happily say that none of them include assaulting, groping, attacking, or abusing another human. And if I found out a soon-to-be ex-friends? I sure as fuck wouldn't be defending it as "normal" behavior.
Finally: Look, if someone comes forward and tells me a "friend" assaulted them? The burden of proof is gonna be on the "friend" to prove he didn't. And it better be good, like "I was in another country that month" level good. No "I don't remember" or "we were drunk" bullshit.
I will admit here it is totally possible that my sports teams were not the norm. They are anecdote, not data to be sure. I'd be interested to hear if others' experiences differ.
