This is so powerful. For so many the defensive rebuttal to #MeToo is “Men are victims too” as if the mvment isn’t about ALL survivors. Here Charles is, like Terry, understanding exactly what female survivors go through. They know THEY will be blamed/shamed no matter what.
We live in a patriarchal/misogynistic society. We teach girls to dress modestly, cross your legs, know where you are but do not, as a society, teach boys NOT to rape. We teach girls all of the reasons their assaults are their fault (fast little girls) but spend exactly no time...
...teaching kids about consent. Boys ARE survivors as well. We know tgis because sexual assault/rape is about the abuse of power. But the rules of patriarchy don’t allow men to be victims OR push against a patriarchal system. So they are also shamed & silence. Who’s left then?
Predators who know ALL of this. They also live in our society & know how it functions. They know the survivor will be scrutinized while THEY will get the benefit of the doubt from ppl they both know & don’t based on nothing. So when ppl say “why didn’t _____do ____” ask urself...
...how does the survivors actions after the assault, change the fact that the assault happened? It happened. Add 2 that, statistics says most kids/ppl are assaulted by someone THEY KNOW. “_______ would never do that.” Were you there? No. The person ur defending knows u weren’t...
The current system was set up to keep abusers in power. We know this about racism. We know sexism/misogyny is also systemic but when we see it in action, folks act brand new.
We’re all learning & unlearning. Teach your kids about consent & be that safe place for them to come to.
