Profile picture
Hazel River @Hazel_River12
, 34 tweets, 7 min read Read on Twitter
What happened during Christine Blausey Ford's testimony. #revenge
Background: I work at a small members only resort. We'll call it Sherwood Forest. We have, amongst other things, a store, a sales department, marketing department, security, banquet hall, etc.
I run the desk catering to the members, accepting payments, ect. I work half the week and my co-worker works the other half. She lives close by and comes in on my "Monday" to bring me up to date on outstanding happenings. Thursday, Sept. 27th was my Monday that week.
When I arrived at work my boss informed me that "John"* was promoted to sales manager. This is #BADNEWS! John acts like he thinks he's God's gift to the world. Personally, I think he suffers from a lack of self-esteem. He's also a misogynistic pig. He says completely
Inappropriate things. Like the time he walked into the marketing office and said to the manager and two marketers, "Oh, I thought you'd be in here on your knees."
Or when he walked in to the activities area and said, "I don't know why you girls are wearing clothes, you'll just be taking them off eventually." Keep in mind we have kids working here as young as 14 and members children in this area, which is next to the sales office where he
Works, as well as the gift shop/snack bar. Where we also employ kids as young as 14. He also asked Valerie* when she was due once. (FTR, Valerie was never pregnant whilst working here.) *Names have been changed to protect the guilty.
He also calls himself "Awesome John". If he call you the caller ID says "John Awesome".
He thinks this is "so cool". We call him "Not So Awesome John".
My boss also proceeds to tell me that one of the conditions of him taking the position was that Valerie either resign or be fired. So she was no longer employed. Bummer, because I rather liked her.
Afterward, boss left for a meeting. My office mate came in and we were chatting. Somehow got on the topic of the hearings. The store manager came in and horned in on our conversation. 😁 Then, Valerie walks in about 9:30. She's there to hand in keys etc. and wanted to make sure
Not so awesome John wasn't around. She also had a box she said was office supplies. She put the keys on the CEO's desk. She insisted I call the sales office right away to pick up the supplies. We chitchatted for a few minutes, said our goodbyes and gave our hugs. She was gone by
Ten. She said something as she walked out the door that I didn't really hear because I was answering the phone that had been ringing off the hook the whole time. I heard one of the other women say "what do you think that means?" Didn't think much of it.
At 10:15 I get a text from my high schooler that he has a headache, feels nauseous and wants me to pick him up. He's not one to miss school, esp his DEEP classes and thankfully my boss is fantabulous, so I tell her I'll be back. As I fly past the CEO's office, he asks about the
Package with the keys. I tell him Valerie dropped it off earlier.
As I'm driving to school Dr. Ford is reading her opening statement to the committee. It's more heartbreaking to hear it in her little girl voice (wasn't expecting that voice, not that there's wrong with that, she can't control how she sounds) than it was to read it beforehand.
Get to school, grab kid (after he visits the RR), take him home, set the DVR to record the hearing (which I forgot to do earlier), tried unsuccessfully to put air in my tire, went to gas station to put said air in tire, drove through Taco Bell for my semi daily bean burrito.
(Don't judge! It's one of the healthier fast food options.) Finally head back to work. This has taken about an hour and a half. As I turn into Sherwood Forest I see an ambulance, two fire trucks and several police cars. My first thought is "please let Bugs be ok"
"please let Bugs be ok, please let Bugs be ok." Bugs is one of our security guys, but he's 82 years old, anything can happen! And it's his last day before he and his wife leave to work before he goes on vacation then takes off for the winter. So that would really suck!
I can't park in my spot, there's a cop car blocking the parking lot. I'm kinda of like Sheldon about my spot. Just ask the security guys. Grrr. So I go around where I'm not supposed to park. As I get out of the car I see Bugs getting into the security cart. He's fine. Yay!!!
I know there's nothing wrong in the resort because everyone seems to be gathered around the front office. Cops and firefighters are milling around outside, maybe a gas leak?
I get inside and there are at least 5 cops gathered outside CEO's office. Are they arresting him? For what?
CEO comes out of his office. Seems to be in good spirits, Jackie, the marketing manager's fine. Boss would never do anything bad, so I'm not worried about her. Kind of excuse myself past the cops and finally see boss. I ask her what's going on?
"Oh, were just waiting for the bomb squad."
So while I was gone CEO opened the envelope with the keys. In it are the keys, her company ID card with nasty language on it and the company credit card, which was cut into jagged edges. Also in the envelope was a crap ton of glitter. Glitter EVERYWHERE!
You know glitter sticks around forever, so I guess Valerie wants CEO to remember her forevah!

A little while after the glitter bomb, Boss remembers the box of office supplies and takes it to CEO. They decide to open it outside just in case.
They take it out to the back deck. CEO rips the tape off and they both use their feet to open the box. In the box are a computer mouse, some office supplies and, get this, what looks like a box wrapped in a mauve satin cloth, like a large jewelry pouch, tied with a ribbon.
On it is a note that says simply "to John". So CEO calls Andrea in HR, because if she did that to CEO, what's in store for Not so Awesome John? Andrea calls the cops, cops call the bomb squad.
So as we wait for the bomb squad, handsome young police officer takes my statement. I make sure to mention the inappropriate pregnancy comment and that Valerie was upset a lot of the time about how Not so Awesome John treated her. She used to come up to my office for a break.
Especially on weekends. She never went into much detail, and I didn't press, but she never struck me as a wilting flower, so I suspect it was pretty bad. And she didn't deserve to be fired. She was doing a good job.
So, while we waited for the bomb squad we spent some time between member visits and phone calls speculating on what's in the package. Boss thinks it's horse shit. I concur. Makes sense. Valerie has horses, the entire situation is horse shit. Ready access to horse shit.
But it didn't smell. Maybe it's horse shit sealed in a plastic container? The bomb squad finally shows up and opens the package. Inside is a note that says, "You're a dick" and
A GIANT dildo!!!
Missing some Tweet in this thread?
You can try to force a refresh.

Like this thread? Get email updates or save it to PDF!

Subscribe to Hazel River
Profile picture

Get real-time email alerts when new unrolls are available from this author!

This content may be removed anytime!

Twitter may remove this content at anytime, convert it as a PDF, save and print for later use!

Try unrolling a thread yourself!

how to unroll video

1) Follow Thread Reader App on Twitter so you can easily mention us!

2) Go to a Twitter thread (series of Tweets by the same owner) and mention us with a keyword "unroll" @threadreaderapp unroll

You can practice here first or read more on our help page!

Did Thread Reader help you today?

Support us! We are indie developers!

This site is made by just three indie developers on a laptop doing marketing, support and development! Read more about the story.

Become a Premium Member and get exclusive features!

Premium member ($30.00/year)

Too expensive? Make a small donation by buying us coffee ($5) or help with server cost ($10)

Donate via Paypal Become our Patreon

Thank you for your support!