Apparently, my sister had refused to share her biscuits with a classmate. When asked why, she'd replied,
"She has not asked her Mummy's permission. I don't want to give her witchcraft."
Instead, she contributed to the conversation. What Mama did to her that day enh....is not the story I'm sharing today.
Ah, yes. Making ourselves scarce. I didn't leave the living room that day. Rather, I sidled up to Mama and leaned on her. I wasn't concerned with the lady, chinchin or peanuts.
My eyes, attention, soul and destiny, were fixed on that 35cl bottle of Fanta.
It didn't take long for the woman to notice my greedy ogling.
"Sweetie, come and take," she said.
I looked at my mother. She gave me the third variation of The Look.
Let me pause a bit here and tell you a little about The Look and its third variation.
The Look had variations; sometimes it meant 'disappear from here.' It could also mean 'come here at once!'
Earlier that morning, my Village People held a town hall meeting. At the meeting, they printed and distributed 5x7 copies of my picture to everyone, to use as a hand fan.
They fanned. And it came to pass, that as they were fanning themselves, the breeze was blowing my eyes, ears and sixth sense.
That's why later that afternoon, despite my Mama's vigorous and very robust home training, I couldn't see The Look.
Instead, I stepped forward, collected the nearly empty bottle of Fanta, put it to my mouth, and drank until it was empty.
The visitor finally left. Then my mother opened the door to the room, walked in, and locked it behind her.
The person you see here today is my reincarnation. I'm not even joking.😭😭😭
"Thank you auntie/uncle. I don't want."
It's not me you people will kill twice in one lifetime.
Vicky's Mum used her to practice How to Beat a Talking Drum.
I hope I've been able to convince and not confuse you, dear panel of judges, co-debaters, and the audience, that no matter how good you are, your children will occasionally cross the line and make you look bad.
1. Don't harshly judge your parenting. You're doing fine.
2. Try not to kill them. Trust me, it's not easy. Ask my mother. You may wish the ground to swallow you. A much safer and legal alternative.
3. Give them a talk to reinforce the lesson.
You can use investnow.ng's easy investment app. So that you can hammer - and there's a lesser chance of you coming to borrow money from me tomorrow 😛😛🤣