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Seamas It Ever Was @shockproofbeats
, 4 tweets, 3 min read Read on Twitter
Inspired by @sma_fraseer I'm up with the baba and getting really, REALLY into Princess Diana Memorial Facebook this morning.
TRULY...
Princess Diana wasn't in Heaven for five minutes before she had to give everyone there some grief about all the hateration in that dancerie.
Matthew. I just. I love you Matthew. I - dammit WE - deserve this to be real right now.
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But if you were trying not to disturb someone then walking on eggshells nearby would be the last thing you'd do. The prep alone would be so distracting.
My wife: Marjorie is incredibly offended by what you said at dinner last night, so just give her some space this morning, ok?
Me, putting on crocs as I crumble 40 eggshells onto the lino: Absolutely
It would actually be so rude.
Read 3 tweets
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Its Christmas week so I'm back with my dear old dad. You might know him from being a totally rad dude. You might NOT know that he has an insanely large 65" TV plus the worst viewing tastes of any living human being. And you definitely don't know that tonight we mounted A TV HEIST
A reminder of a few of my dad's previous greatest hits, including his utter inability to keep up with even very established pop cultural trends.
I've also mentioned his love for trashy movies, which was kind of a spin-off of his previous love for movies in general, which culminated in his recording over 800 movies off TV and onto VHS.
Read 20 tweets
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If you were looking for an example of the banality of evil, you'd do worse than the government using "cool_party6.jpg" stock images to announce EU citizens must now register themselves like criminals.
Shout out to @cjjmccray for finding the literal stock image they used
It's been a whole day and I cannot get over how fucking appalling this is.
Read 3 tweets

Related threads

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chanyeol and his four-year-old daughter naeun have been celebrating the last two christmases with no one else but the two of them.

chanyeol is planning to celebrate this year's christmas with naeun's uncles (chanyeol's best friends) but naeun is planning something else.
"daddy~ our christmas break will be in a few days." naeun cheered from the passenger seat while chanyeol was putting on her seatbelt.

"really? that means daddy could finally take you to the arcade." chanyeol told her daughter with the same cheery tone.

"yes & we'll eat a lot!"
"we will." chanyeol promised. the car engine roared & the two were off to naeun's school.

naeun is in kindergarten & she goes to a school a bit far from their house but closer to chanyeol's workplace. as soon as she finishes school, chanyeol picks her up & brings her to his work
Read 235 tweets
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1 like = one bit of publishing advice you're not going to like
1. Monetary success and quality of writing can be plotted on a type of Laffer curve: the writers who make almost no money are either awful or excellent. The B- middle, which satisfices without thrilling large audiences, is where the $$ is at.
2. You're likely not going to be published because a publisher thinks they can make a lot of money with your book, but because stores with lots of books sell more copies of the certain few books that sell. Your book will likely be "wallpaper" in a bookstore.
Read 110 tweets
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Yoonmin ABO au 🍑

Omega Jimin finds a hoodie left in the locker room and couldn't help but take it home because it smelled so good.
The next day, word spread out about how the omega had started smelling like the most popular alpha on campus, alpha Min Yoongi.
i'm starting this

- do not reply to the thread, only rt w comment

- if there are any similarities with other works, it is by pure coincidence as i'm not a bitch who steals the fruit of other's hard work.
- forgive typos i may commit.

🔞do not read if uncomfortable
Read 256 tweets
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› back to black ‧ taekook au

the one where taehyung is a spy, jungkook is his target, and the world is their playground.
The first time Taehyung goes on a mission, it’s by complete accident.

There’s some sort of chaos outbreak at HQ, and before he knows it, Taehyung--an untrained, unpaid, unsure intern--is swept into a slick black SUV and sent off to an unknown location.
He looks around, not very optimistic at the sight of the other nervous faces in the car. When the vehicle finally stops, the doors are pulled open by a very gruff-looking man, his face streaked with blood and his arm in a rough-looking sling.
Read 594 tweets

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