I just saw this Evernote entry I made 7 years ago. I always bought books, no matter how meagre the money I had, I just must buy books. Always bet on books :) 
This note brought back a flood of emotions. I have been staring at it since 2AM. Look how God has brought us. 7 years ago, the goal was simple - buy 2 shirts, 2 chinos, buy a laptop and books. Just the bare bones. Ah, look at God.
Every dime mattered. No frivolities, nothing. The goal was to just survive and look ahead. Get the bare necessities and press forward and hope for the best. Life was a little rough here. Like really rough.
One time, my then land lady came to my tiny room and she recommended me for a job. The job was to go work at a business center typing assignments and handouts. The pay was somewhere around N7,000. She noticed that amongst all her tenants, I was the only one that never went out.
She probably figured I was broke and never had much. I could see pity in her eyes. But I guess she was more concerned about the fact that I'll never make rent the next year and frankly, she was probably right.
My plan was simple then, if I couldn't make rent, I will simply pack my bags and go back to my parents. For context, I had just moved out and I was living in a different city, Uyo. For the first time ever, I understood the phrase "freedom comes with a price"
Every two weeks or so, I will go back home and mum will hook me up. A bowl of soup, stew, a bag of garri, a tuber of yam and I'll pick anything else that was edible. I guess it was during this phase of my life that I mastered how to skip breakfast and have my first meal at 4PM.
That was a survival strategy that became a terrible habit. A habit that I am still paying for today. To this day, I still struggle with breakfast. @nnekaukpanah I guess it makes sense now why I struggle with food.
The first time I got my own share of the electricity bill, I was confused. I didn't know what to do with it. "Wait, you mean I have to pay for electricity? Damn." I called dad and he said to me "this is how adulthood works."
Then one time I, I became really broke. So broke I couldn't go home. I couldn't even call my folks at home. No airtime, nothing. Then for the first time ever in my life, I considered shop lifting. Life has a way of pushing you to the edge and testing your values in the process.
There was a lady who ran a small grocery store close to my house. The plan was to go there, ask for an obscure thing and while she is trying to look for it or something, I'll pick a pack of noodles and walk away. I was hungry, so hungry I contemplated this particular option.
Every time I decided to put my plan in motion, I panic. I'll go back home and convince myself to try again. Then I eventually gave up the idea and spent the next two days chewing carrots and drinking large volume of water. Carrots were the only edible thing I had.
Then one day, while searching through my stuff for anything, I found N500. I want to believe my angels up there saw my situation and planted that N500 there. Because during this time, I knew every dime that I had. So this particular N500 was and still is a mystery.
This N500 became my ticket back home. The problem here was that, transport from my home to the bus park was N100. If I spend N100, I'll be short of cash and wouldn't have enough for my transport back home. N100 became the difference between life and death, literally.
Then on the 3rd day of my carrot eating streak, that morning, I found my neighbour heading towards the direction of the bus park. I asked him if I could join him there, he said yes but only had 5min to spare. I went inside, packed my bags, I didn't shower and hitched his ride.
That, brethren, was how I got home. Upon reaching home, mum took one good look at me, didn't say a word and came back 20min or so later with a bowl of garri and melon soup. She said to me EAT!!!!
Hang in there, there's always light at the end of the tunnel. Always!!!!
I'm not sure why I wrote all this, but my hope is that you find courage in this story to keep pressing on. Never lose hope. God bless.
