Mentoring is challenging. You have to:
- be mindful of the power gradient between yourself and your mentee;
- be mindful of your mentee’s current level of understanding;
- provide context around *why*, and not just *what* things are done;
- come up with explanations on the fly;
- be mindful of the power gradient between yourself and your mentee;
- be mindful of your mentee’s current level of understanding;
- provide context around *why*, and not just *what* things are done;
- come up with explanations on the fly;
- let your mentee make mistakes so they can learn to diagnose & recover from them;
- give them challenges that are *just* outside their current reach;
- make a psychologically safe environment for them to be wrong;
- gently explore their decisions & understanding via questions;
- give them challenges that are *just* outside their current reach;
- make a psychologically safe environment for them to be wrong;
- gently explore their decisions & understanding via questions;
- explain how you think about the thing they’re trying to do;
- therefore, be self-aware w.r.t. your own processes;
- be mindful that not all mentees are the same;
- be mindful that everyone has different circumstances;
- be mindful that everyone has off days;
- therefore, be self-aware w.r.t. your own processes;
- be mindful that not all mentees are the same;
- be mindful that everyone has different circumstances;
- be mindful that everyone has off days;
- never hoard knowledge;
- let them encounter problems, even steer them toward problems, for which you can help them derive the solution, so they really *understand* why e.g. best practices are thus;
- clearly distinguish between opinion, habit, & observable phenomena;
- let them encounter problems, even steer them toward problems, for which you can help them derive the solution, so they really *understand* why e.g. best practices are thus;
- clearly distinguish between opinion, habit, & observable phenomena;
- be willing to retread ground you’ve covered as many times as it takes;
- be mindful that *you* have off days, too;
- be honest and upfront when you don’t know something, & search for an answer together;
- recognize mentorship as servant leadership, and never ego-stroking;
- be mindful that *you* have off days, too;
- be honest and upfront when you don’t know something, & search for an answer together;
- recognize mentorship as servant leadership, and never ego-stroking;
- keep an eye on your own progress learning to mentor;
- be honest and upfront about your own mistakes in mentoring, and take the lesson to heart;
- remember that the goal is your mentee’s competency and confidence, and not your own;
- and … just, *so* much more.
- be honest and upfront about your own mistakes in mentoring, and take the lesson to heart;
- remember that the goal is your mentee’s competency and confidence, and not your own;
- and … just, *so* much more.
Maybe the most important thing, tho, is to recognize that you have a lot to learn, too, and some of it you will definitely learn from your mentee.
I’ve occasionally compared my own experience working in software to recording a studio album, vs. recording a live album—it can be a solitary activity, and you can apply an arbitrary degree of polish before sharing with others. This can be a defensive strategy against criticism.
Mentorship, by contrast, is inherently performative. It will be imperfect. It will be messy.
But it can be so valuable, and so rewarding.
Embrace the messiness.
But it can be so valuable, and so rewarding.
Embrace the messiness.
