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Siyanda Mohutsiwa
@SiyandaWrites
, 4 tweets, 2 min read Read on Twitter
I want to make an African game show called “So You Think You Can Bewitch Me?” Where contestants bring their family members and neighbors to the stage and accuse them of being behind their ill fortunes.
Cc @Trevornoah - I’m optimistic that you can find a home for this idea
@Trevornoah Host: Today our first contestant is Jerry from a farm in western Botswana. He claims his neighbor has been bewitching him for years...
Neighbor: wait...what?
Jerry: Don’t act surprised! Twenty of my chickens were struck by lightening last month! Do you think I’m a fool?
@Trevornoah Host: Next we have Champion, an accountant from Bulawayo, Zimbabwe. He says his ex wife has cast a spell on him. Tell us about the spell Champion
Champ: uhm...I’d rather not
Ex-wife(on-stage): his penis is broken
Champ: what?? You see? You’re admitting to being a witch???
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Siyanda Mohutsiwa
@SiyandaWrites
Sorry about the gum
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Episode 3: In which I discuss, among many things, Swaziland, @NewYorker article #unreliablenarrator, #fyrefestival, Alice Munro and writing a short story. Also, there interspecies yoga.
Read 13 tweets
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Siyanda Mohutsiwa
@SiyandaWrites
Me everyday.
“Please stop licking the inside of my nostrils - you’re doing it tenderly but your tongue is sandpaper”
“How did you get up there?”
“How did you get in there?”
“Where did you get that?”
“How did you open that?”
“Why are you biting this?”
“What are you staring at?”
My life with this one is questions ♥️
Hey @brothajorrell I think I just wrote my first poem 😅
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Siyanda Mohutsiwa
@SiyandaWrites
Some of you are only here because some woman had the supernatural grace to not report you for rape. Your lack of gratitude, humility and empathy is more proof that you did not deserve that second chance.
Instead of seeing the #metoo movement as a chance to reflect on your own past and realize that your life was spared, you choose to bash women and protect rapists like they pay your bills.
Men love to say “rape allegations destroy lives” but do you ever stop to think of all the women who did decide to save someone’s life after he had violated them? No. Because you’re always the victim. And you don’t deserve your freedom.
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