Thread by @CandiceBenbow

Sis hit me up and asked I write for her site. She pays in exposure. Because I like what she’s trying to do, I tell her that I won’t commit to unpaid writing but can gift her a piece I would’ve put on my own site. Y’all. The way she tried to read me for filth.

IN ALL CAPS, she gave me her site’s stats, readership and how writing in that space would expand my reach. Then, she advised me not to get “cocky” because, before I could write for bigger pubs, I could only write for small blogs. Biiiiiiiish.

I took a breath because, while I won’t name her, I knew that if my response was ugly- she’d post it. I kindly reminded her that I write full time and, while exposure is great, I can’t pay bills with it unless it’s monetized.

Then, I let her know that before I wrote for bigger pubs, the only small blog I wrote for was my own and what I write there continues to create opportunities, generate traffic and is work I’m fiercely proud of- which is why I offered it to her. I would’ve written it anyway.

I tried to explain to her that giving her something I was already going to post FOR FREE instead of writing something else FOR FREE was less labor for me and the fact I even offered was proof I was in full support of what she was doing. Chile she was not having it. LOLOL

Sis said I was disrespecting her as an editor and as a Black woman trying to create her own brand *and* told me I’d never act like that with a White editor at Glamour. In my head, I’m screaming “BECAUSE THEY ACTUALLY PAY ME!!!!! WTH ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!”

She then said she’s been following me for years, has supported me for a long time but thinks I’ve gotten the big head since Lemonade Syllabus and started responding only to people with blue checks on Twitter and ignore everybody else.

Then, she said she prayed for me when my mama died and y’all- if she was in front of me, I probably would be in jail right now. I think that’s the meanest thing you can say to somebody.

And she ended all that by telling me I have until tomorrow by 6 to let her know if I’ll write. If she or anybody else thinks I’m responding to her, I have prime real estate on the MOON for sale. Cause that will be the dayum day.

I know what it’s like to have a dream and limited resources. So I try my hardest to affirm that whenever possible. There are plenty of times I’m asked to write for free. On certain occasions, I do it because I believe in the space and I want to support it and the folks behind it.

What I can’t/won’t do is commit to being a contributing writer somewhere for free. I have a site. Why would I do for someone else what I’m already doing for myself with no compensation? That’s just not smart. I don’t apologize for that and no one should make you feel bad for it.

And I really tried to be accommodating. I really did. And she became ugly. That hurt my feelings, tho. It really did.

If you can’t pay writers, please understand why they’d decline and also be open to the ways they’re willing to work with you outside of how you initially envision it. You can’t be out here not paying and unwilling to compromise. Where they do that at?!

Anyhoo, I’m finna go nurse my hurt feelings. I want to eat all of them but I don’t have any gummy bears. And I promised my friends no crying for a few months so I think I need to just go take a nap. ❤️

...woke up to lots of ❤️. Thank y’all.