Thread by @sisterhood_karn

We've started 'The Pilgrimage' again - watching all of #DoctorWho, in order, from the start. And we're going to try to find the queerest thing in every single story. Could be something unambiguously homo, or perhaps just a little bit of camp. Here we go...

1. An Unearthly Child. The very first line uttered in Doctor Who appears to be a Kenneth Williams impersonation...

2. The Daleks. Thal trousers.

3. The Edge of Destruction.
DOCTOR: You know I acquired that Ulster from Gilbert and Sullivan.
IAN: Oh, really? I thought it was made for two.

4. Marco Polo. Susan and Ping-Cho *clearly* have a major crush going on.

5. The Keys of Marinus. The Voord are basically men in rubber 'pup play' suits.

6. The Aztecs. This Pet Shop Boys tribute act that accompanies Barbara in Episode 4.

7. The Sensorites.
DOCTOR: Beau Brummell always said I look better in a cloak!

8. The Reign of Terror. Category is: Revolutionary Realness. Doctor, your 'change of identity' has tickled us all - this sassy sash ensemble marks the beginning of a fabulous 'reign of stellar'.

9. Planet of Giants. Honestly - we're struggling now. There's not really anything particularly queer about this one at all. So here's a picture from Episode 3 that could vaguely resemble something rude...?

10. The Dalek Invasion of Earth. Dunno - probably Richard Martin's gratuitous shot of Ian Chesterton's nether regions at the beginning of Episode 6...?

11. The Rescue. These two - the sole survivors of the people of Dido. Who - presumably - are going to repopulate the planet together.

12. The Romans. The bit where the Doctor and Nero visit a sauna that looks remarkably like the old Shoreditch branch of Chariots 'gentleman's spa'. (Although the whole story is camp AF.)

13. The Web Planet. The struggle against the Animus is a metaphor for the struggle against the heteronormative patriarchy. Also - tentacle porn.

14. The Crusade. Vicki invents cross-dressing. The Chamberlain invents phobia:
CHAMBERLAIN: I don't understand!
VICKI: It's perfectly simple. I'm a girl.
CHAMBERLAIN: A girl? Dressed as a boy? Is nothing understandable these days?

15. The Space Museum. The inhabitants of Xeros appear to share a parallel evolutionary track with young Earth-based drama school homosexuals. (With fabulous eyebrows.)

16. The Chase. On the planet Aridius we encounter *another* alien race made up entirely of extremely effete males. From now on in this experiment, we shall refer to such peoples as 'gayliens'.

17. The Time Meddler. Why be a viking when you can be a viQUEEN...? (Especially Sven. He may act all tough, but he's clearly complex and vulnerable on the inside.)

18. Galaxy 4. Finally - space lesbians.
STEVEN: All women?
MAAGA: Women?
DOCTOR: Yes, feminine. Ah, female.
MAAGA: Oh, we have a small number of men, as many as we need. The rest we kill. They consume valuable food and fulfill no particular function.

19. Mission to the Unknown. Struggling again with this one - so here's a picture of something vaguely phallic.

20. The Myth Makers. Doctor Who Discovers Glory Holes. (Image taken from the Loose Cannon reconstruction.)

21. The Daleks' Master Plan. Mavic Chen's manicure.

22. The Massacre of St Bartholomew's Eve. King Flouncy-Blouse of France, who now runs a vegan barbershop in Shoreditch.

23. The Ark. The architect who decided that the best monument to embody the spirit of human endeavour and achievement would be a giant statue of a twink in a skirt.

24. The Celestial Toymaker. This chair of dicks. (Image taken from the Loose Cannon reconstruction.)

25. The Gunfighters. Steven has dressed as a cowboy - a cowboy from a musical about gay cowboys.

26. The Savages.
EDAL: What is this? We understood from our Elders that you did not carry weapons.
DOCTOR: Oh yes, they're quite right, yes, I never do. No, this is my RV, you see. This is my Reacting Vibrator.

27. The War Machines. Ben Jackson in his sailor suit makes US feel queer.

28. The Smugglers. More companion cross-dressing. Polly convinces absolutely everyone she meets that she is a boy - even before she dresses up as one - by the cunning ruse of wearing trousers.

29. The Tenth Planet. These earliest cybermen have 'gay voice'.

30. The Power of the Daleks. "Fruit!"

31. The Highlanders. Troughton kindly aids this thread by performing full washer-woman drag in his second story.

32. The Underwater Menace. The decision to put Ben & Jamie into figure-hugging wetsuits for half the story is greatly appreciated by a certain section of the core audience. (And it apparently made Joe Orton sit up and take notice: shallowlikeus.blogspot.com/2007/02/from-j… )

33. The Moonbase. This ejaculating cyberman.

34. The Macra Terror. It is a homophobic hate-crime that the new animation denies us the topless Ben scene in the Refreshment Centre. It does, however, gift us this shot that creates the illusion of Ben & Jamie sharing a bed. (Which is how they sleep in the Tardis every night.)

35. The Faceless Ones. Jamie is *literally* in the closet.

36. The Evil of the Daleks. The daleks once again demonstrate a fondness for phallic technology. This device is apparently for impregnating humans with the dalek factor... (Image taken from the Loose Cannon reconstruction.)

37. The Tomb of the Cybermen. This messy facial.

38. The Abominable Snowmen. Ralpachan took refuge in the Detsen Monastery when he'd grown weary of his life as a Tom of Finland model.

39. The Ice Warriors. The guy in the middle here has a BOLD aesthetic.

40. The Enemy of the World. The production team just can't seem to help themselves - Jamie's in fetish gear again.

41. The Web of Fear. Sorry. What? Where is Jamie's face...?!?

42. Fury From The Deep. There's an awful lot of talk about 'the base of the shaft', but the prize here goes to Maggie Harris' kitchen decor.

43. The Wheel In Space. It's brief, but this cyber-mince through space in Episode 6 is precious.

44. The Dominators. Fashion on the planet Dulkis appears to be relatively gender neutral - dresses made from curtains for everyone! Here's one of the natives - Cully - having a good old gawk up Jamie's kilt.

45. The Mind Robber. A popular comic-strip superhero from the year 2000 appears to have been a flayed-alive muscleman in a leather fetish-mask. The Hourly Telepress was apparently a 'niche' publication.

46. The Invasion. The Brigadier orders his troops to standby for 'full penetration'. Overly dramatic cyberman feels very attacked.

47. The Krotons. This massive metal cock that emerges from a glory hole and totally destroys Twink Gond.

48. The Seeds of Death. Hampstead Heath absolutely dripping with sticky white mess. As usual.

49. The Space Pirates. These costumes that were rejected by the Eurovision Song Contest. (It's a tantalising shame that there's only one story between this and full glorious colour...)

50. The War Games. We end the sixties with this ostensibly innocent bit of groin fiddling business. But Troughton and Hines know exactly what they’re doing…! We shall miss them both.

51. Spearhead From Space. The notion of a place where people communicate by simply raising their eyebrows reminds us very much of several of our favourite queer bars.

52. Doctor Who and the Silurians. We hate to admit defeat, but, other than Young Silurian being a bit of a drama queen, there’s not much queerness going on here at all. (We knew Season 7 was going to be trouble…) So we’ll just share this page from @DWMtweets Issue 22 instead...

53. The Ambassadors of Death. God - Season 7 is so BUTCH. But the knowledge that stuntman Roy Scammell is performing this car-chase in drag as Liz Shaw adds at least a touch of camp to proceedings.

54. Inferno. Alternate universe Liz Shaw.

55. Terror of the Autons. When Benton tops Yates.

56. The Mind of Evil. Dunno. The Keller Machine looks a bit like a dick? Losing the will to continue with this thread - it's all so relentlessly gritty and grim at the moment. Why, out of all the things the show could have become, is Doctor Who all about armies and prisons now?

57. The Claws of Axos. When the Third Doctor goes all dom top and treats the TARDIS like a slutty twink.

58. Colony In Space. Those IMC lads aren't shy about advertising their predilections, are they...?

59. The Dæmons.
CAPTAIN YATES: Fancy a dance, Brigadier?

60. Day of the Daleks. This nasty leather pig - who seems to want to do more than just interrogate poor Pertwee...

61. The Curse of Peladon. Doctor Who Discovers Gender Pronouns. (We very much do NOT endorse referring to a gender-neutral person as 'it'...!)

62. The Sea Devils. Look at how the Doctor gently caresses the Master as he passes him here. They may not speak openly of it often, but their love is timeless.

63. The Mutants. Yes, this is about colonialism and the evils of empire, of course - but it’s also a fabulous coming-out parable: The natives of Solos are misunderstood, reviled, and hunted. And then they LITERALLY TURN INTO RAINBOWS and overthrow their oppressors. YAAAAAAS.

64. The Time Monster. Hooray! In Stuart Hyde we arguably have #DoctorWho's first unambiguously queer character. (This characterisation may seem extremely tame to young modern viewers, but for the time it was FLAMING..!)

65. The Three Doctors. The interior of the TARDIS console looks uncannily like a drag queen on a Pride parade float.

66. Carnival of Monsters. This is how straight people dress at Pride.

67. Frontier In space. A lot of the political issues in this story feel ahead of their time. Particularly progressive was this computer devoted entirely to trans calculations. 🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️

68. Planet of the Daleks. Nothing especially queer here - but this is certainly a story with spunk.

69. The Green Death. This, obviously. And we'd like to award a Special Commendation for Distinguished Services to the cause of Camp Old Nonsense to whoever it was that made Drag Doctor the main image on the new Blu-Ray disc. (Was that you, @LeeBinding...?)

@LeeBinding 70. The Time Warrior. Sontarans are gender neutral and proud.

@LeeBinding 71. Invasion of the Dinosaurs. The Doctor watching these two big boys getting it on.

@LeeBinding 72. Death to the Daleks. This total drama queen.

@LeeBinding 73. The Monster of Peladon. This is what a gay regeneration looks like - when a Time Lord transmogrifies into a homosexual incarnation.

@LeeBinding 74. Planet of the Spiders. Despite this being his last story, Pertwee is still trying out new catchphrases - this one's a bit camper than 'reverse the polarity of the neutron flow'... (We'd like to see Tuar's legs too.)

@LeeBinding 75. Robot. Miss Hilda Winters.

@LeeBinding 76. The Ark In Space. Is it just us who immediately think of Harry Sullivan / Ben Jackson slash fiction when we hear this line...?

@LeeBinding 77. The Sontaran Experiment. This bit where the gay robot does a slut-squat for no good reason.

@LeeBinding 78. Genesis of the Daleks. That moment when a straight person comes into the gay bar.

(Jokes! We LOVE our straight allies! xxx)

@LeeBinding 79. Revenge of the Cybermen. This Cyber-Stance.

@LeeBinding 80. Terror of the Zygons. Poor dear lovely Angus the landlord - the only gay in the village...?

@LeeBinding 81. Planet of Evil. This twink who cums so hard that he ceases to exist.