Okay so a few weeks ago, my friend gave me a mattress to upgrade the one in my guest room. So I decided to pay the good karma forward...
But it turns out, it's actually tough to give away a free mattress!
I got lots of interest, but people would have trouble wrangling a large enough vehicle, so they would cancel.
I quickly got a message from a guy who said he lived nearby.
I asked him, "Do you have a vehicle that will fit a double mattress and box spring?"
He said, "No. But I can carry them."
He said, "Well... I'm a pretty big guy."
And he said, "Well... now?"
It was 11pm.
So of course, I said,
15 minutes later he's on my porch.
It was very cold, so he was appropriately dressed in a down jacket and toque.
He definitely didn't look big enough to carry a mattress alone.
And Reader, he had been drinking.
He shook my hand and politely asked me to hold my front door open.
Already, this was not going well.
BALANCED IT ON HIS HEAD,
AND JOGGED AWAY.
I stood in my doorway and watched him run away up my street, carrying the mattress on his head like the world's weirdest canoe portage.
I think I was in shock.
Fifteen minutes later, he was back.
He was now wearing only a small mint green tank top, and his sweat was actually *steaming* off his skin in the frigid air.
Once again the slow shimmy out the door,
and the awkward bump bump bump down the stairs...
Again, Reader, I say to thee,
I tucked it away into a part of my brain labelled "Surreal things that are too weird to tell people" and went about my life.
🔥🔥 share.bunz.com/stampnicole 🔥🔥
I truly hope at least one of you gets on Bunz & meets your own Viking Bed-Carrier Or Equivalent!
ANYTHING COULD HAPPEN!
When I called Corey, the world's best sport, to ask him if he would bring the mattress outside and put it on his head so I could take that photo, I also asked,
"Hey, can you wear your pink tank top again?"
And he said, "...I don't own a pink tank top."
He was like "The tank top was mint green."
I was like "Are you sure? Because I really remember pink."
Yes, something was indeed pink... it was HIM
Mattress-n-tank-topping in the Canadian winter is frosty work
it'll put roses in your arms for sure
💪Corey for prez!