Thread by @nicolestamp

Story Time!
🛏️
Okay so a few weeks ago, my friend gave me a mattress to upgrade the one in my guest room. So I decided to pay the good karma forward...

...and give away my old mattress for free.

But it turns out, it's actually tough to give away a free mattress!

I got lots of interest, but people would have trouble wrangling a large enough vehicle, so they would cancel.

Finally...

...I listed the free mattress in a faceboop group called Bunz.

I quickly got a message from a guy who said he lived nearby.

I asked him, "Do you have a vehicle that will fit a double mattress and box spring?"

He said, "No. But I can carry them."

...WAT

I said, "You're going to CARRY a double mattress and box spring?"

He said, "Well... I'm a pretty big guy."

I was like "Ohhhhh kaaaay. When do you want to come?"

And he said, "Well... now?"

It was 11pm.

So of course, I said,

"Sure!"

15 minutes later he's on my porch.

It was very cold, so he was appropriately dressed in a down jacket and toque.
He definitely didn't look big enough to carry a mattress alone.

And Reader, he had been drinking.

I was feeling pretty skeptical about this guy's ability to carry a mattress 8 blocks by himself.

He shook my hand and politely asked me to hold my front door open.

He slowly dragged the mattress out the door, then kinda shimmied it awkwardly down my porch stairs, bump bump bump.

Already, this was not going well.

I opened my mouth to say he could come back tomorrow with a truck, when suddenly, in one smooth motion,...

...HE LIFTED THE MATTRESS INTO THE AIR,
BALANCED IT ON HIS HEAD,
AND JOGGED AWAY.

Reader, when I tell you I was surprised? I WAS SURPRISED.

I stood in my doorway and watched him run away up my street, carrying the mattress on his head like the world's weirdest canoe portage.

I think I was in shock.

Fifteen minutes later, he was back.

Apparently, carrying a mattress 8 blocks on your head is warm work, because the February-appropriate puffer jacket and toque were gone.

He was now wearing only a small mint green tank top, and his sweat was actually *steaming* off his skin in the frigid air.

Also,

HE WAS THE SIZE OF A LITERAL TRUCK, AND COVERED IN TATTOOS.

Reader, when I tell you I was surprised? I WAS SURPRISED.

He politely asked me to hold the door again, and grabbed the box spring.

Once again the slow shimmy out the door,

and the awkward bump bump bump down the stairs...

...and then he gracefully swung the box spring high into the air, settled it on his head, and politely called "thank yoooou" as he jogged away.

Again, Reader, I say to thee,

...WAT

I didn't even tell anyone it had happened. It was just too weird.

I tucked it away into a part of my brain labelled "Surreal things that are too weird to tell people" and went about my life.

And then last week @bunzofficial asked me to write a couple sponsored posts about the Bunz App and my experience with #BunzLove and I GOT VERY EXCITED because it meant I finally had an excuse to tell this story!

The Bunz App allows you to trade (or give away for free!) items (like mattresses!) to people in your community.

You can use this link to download the app, worldwide:

🔥🔥 share.bunz.com/stampnicole 🔥🔥

#Bunz is really fun because, uh, you never know what will happen!

Bunzing your stuff is a great way to save money, practice environmental sustainability, and meet ENORMOUS BED CARRYING VIKINGS WITH NICE MANNERS WHO LIVE DOWN THE STREET FROM YOU.

Today I called the guy back and asked if I could come by and snap a photo with him to illustrate our moment of Bunz magic.

He was kind enough to agree, so...

Twitter, meet Corey!

Here's that Bunz App download link again!

🔥🔥 share.bunz.com/stampnicole 🔥🔥

I truly hope at least one of you gets on Bunz & meets your own Viking Bed-Carrier Or Equivalent!

Pirate Bookshelf-Lifter?
Amazon Table-Tosser?
Sea-Roving Sofa-Balancer?

ANYTHING COULD HAPPEN!

🙂/fin

One more funny detail:

When I called Corey, the world's best sport, to ask him if he would bring the mattress outside and put it on his head so I could take that photo, I also asked,

"Hey, can you wear your pink tank top again?"

And he said, "...I don't own a pink tank top."

And I was like, "But... I distinctly remember pink. A lot of pink."

He was like "The tank top was mint green."

I was like "Are you sure? Because I really remember pink."

Then when I saw him out in the freezing cold, I realized....

Yes, something was indeed pink... it was HIM

Mattress-n-tank-topping in the Canadian winter is frosty work

it'll put roses in your arms for sure

💪Corey for prez!

@threadreaderapp, please unroll this thread!