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i keep meaning to post about how good seagulls are and i don't care what you, a boat owner or other seafarer / dock worker, feel about this opinion
listen do you know what my favorite animals are? that's right, the ones that say "least concern" on wikipedia. seagulls are cheap as free, and they're big, and stark white, and have huge wings, and generally just look like the picture of Bird in my head
i asked someone recently, idly, "do you think you could eat seagull, they're really big," and our conversation just kind of fell silent for a moment and then the tone changed. good, i like that. we both think seagulls are probably poison and had never even considered eating one
i'm sure they're assholes but you know what i don't like watching? birds that land and then just leave because they're composed of 9 molecules and either they can't hold their own in a street fight, they have a working sense of risk vs reward, or they're just too god damn fast
the smallest bird i'm interested in is a crow. they're big enough that they don't just evaporate when they're ready to leave. a fight between two crows doesn't look like a pair of electrons fucking under a microscope, played back at the wrong speed by a hand-cranked projector
seagulls fall into the category of "Whoops, Too Big", so they handle like some Миль ground-effect aircraft, and they're petty. they'll fight six other birds over a french fry. i get to watch a bunch of enormous wings flap, and in the end i get to see an animal eat. win/win
basically in my hierarchy of needs, "watch an animal eat" is the big platform on the bottom so anything that ends there is providing the basic sustenance that creates the chemicals my brain needs
