Thread by @swardley

X : We're looking for a VP of strategy.
Me : OK, I could make some recommendations.
X : We were hoping you might step up to the shortlist. Though we're concerned about practical experience.
Me : You clearly have no idea who you're talking to. I'll make some recommendations.

X : They've got to be good, blue chip experience and top school MBA.
Me : I thought you were looking for someone good at strategy?
X : We are. Only the best and we're willing to pay.
Me : You know you've got mug written across your face?

Me : How does MBA, 5 years Mckinsey, 15 years Oracle, big multi-billion projects, teams of 800+, willing to work for top dollar sound?
X : Can we afford them?
Me : No but you will.
X : Would you recommend them?
Me : For you, yes. It'll be a valuable life lesson for the future.

X : Any others?
Me : Like that ... oodles. I can add a whole legion who have successfully built large private / hybrid cloud efforts.
X : Our current plan is hybrid plus boosting our agile / DevOps capability.
Me : Boosting eh? Have you thought about going full stack Spotify?

X : I'm not sure what you mean?
Me : Don't worry, I can recommend dozens of people who will show you the importance of defining "success" and other future lessons.
X : Why do I detect some sarcasm?
Me : Have you thought of running Myers Briggs on potential candidates?

X : A friend recommended I talk to you regarding strategy. This isn't very helpful.
Me : Au contraire. I've already told you to stop being a mug. When it comes to employing a VP and above, your cynicism gene must be on overdrive.