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Abuse occurs when one person harms another. In many cases, it occurs at the hands of someone who should be caring for and protecting the abused. Abuse can take many forms. Some are more overt; others are subtle. All of them are injurious to the person’s well-being.
Physical abuse occurs when one person uses their strength to harm another. Verbal abuse is the use of words to harm a person’s emotional well-being. Psychological abuse also harms the person’s emotional well-being, though more subtly. The target is often unaware it is happening.
Abuse is ultimately about control. The abuser uses physical, verbal, or psychological abuse to control others. It makes him or her feel powerful. The abuser may actually get a rush from it. Some abusers enjoy toying with others, to see how much they can get away with.
One of the most pernicious forms of abuse is spiritual abuse. Like the other forms, spiritual abuse is about control—only the perpetrator is someone in spiritual leadership. A pastor or the like uses his position to dominate and control people who are supposedly under his care.
Abusive leaders typically come across as winsome and charming, especially in public. They are adept at using flattery to make a person feel special. As with psychological abuse, the target may not even realize they are being abused—at least not at first.
Abusive pastors take advantage of the good nature of their victims. Good Christians are humble; they submit to authority; they do not gossip or slander; they forgive, etc. All of this is used by the abuser to isolate the abused and to keep them under control.
