, 11 tweets, 2 min read Read on Twitter
Sure it was incredibly dumb, but only in retrospect
everybody: that was the most insane, foolhardy, financially suicidal act of stupidity I've ever heard of
guy: lol <lights cigar with $100 bill, drives off in Ferrari>
I don't gamble because I'm happy with my life. If I won a billion dollar lottery, I can't imagine living differently. Oh sure, maybe buy a few more old cars. And a private jet & villa in Monte Carlo. And a 300 ft yacht filled with bikini supermodels. Otherwise same ol' Dave.
*oh yeah, I forgot the private security army to protect all the bikini supermodels and cocaine on my yacht fleet. And now that I think about it, probably a superlair inside an island volcano, with a space laser to destroy Nebraska. Go Hawkeyes
I believe people should keep working no matter how rich they are, so I will also be needing that fleet of helicopters to ferry my supermodels between the yacht and their various bikini shoots. Like my dad said, you can never have enough tools. Like helicopters. Also hydroplanes.
Do you people even listen to yourself? Stop living in some kind of fantasy land, I'm talking about real world practical financial planning
But it's not all about me, I will also give back to the community. I will pledge up to $1 million to activists who promote less materialistic lifestyles and energy conservation. Our planet is at risk, and all that jet & yacht fuel has to come from somewhere
It just occurred to me that with a couple thousand supermodels, security mercenaries, chefs, pilots, & flunkies, a few treasonous bad eggs might slip inside D.A.V.E. HQ. I guess I should probably budget for an HR dept secret police force to root out disloyal rats and spies
And if any of you rats think you can infiltrate my secret police force, think again, because I will also have exotic tigers and sharks to take care of you. Plus ejector seats and safe rooms and escape pods. Ol' Dave might have been born on a farm, but I wasn't born yesterday
for all you people asking how my wife fits into this scenario: we have always had the agreement that I make the money, and she makes sure the bills get paid. I'll see to it she'll have all the checks and and ball point pens and calculators she needs
Still, I'll probably hire some private detectives to make sure she isn't embezzling and blowing it all on her Bed Bath & Beyond habit
Missing some Tweet in this thread?
You can try to force a refresh.

Like this thread? Get email updates or save it to PDF!

Subscribe to David Burge
Profile picture

Get real-time email alerts when new unrolls are available from this author!

This content may be removed anytime!

Twitter may remove this content at anytime, convert it as a PDF, save and print for later use!

Try unrolling a thread yourself!

how to unroll video

1) Follow Thread Reader App on Twitter so you can easily mention us!

2) Go to a Twitter thread (series of Tweets by the same owner) and mention us with a keyword "unroll" @threadreaderapp unroll

You can practice here first or read more on our help page!

Follow Us on Twitter!

Did Thread Reader help you today?

Support us! We are indie developers!


This site is made by just three indie developers on a laptop doing marketing, support and development! Read more about the story.

Become a Premium Member ($3.00/month or $30.00/year) and get exclusive features!

Become Premium

Too expensive? Make a small donation by buying us coffee ($5) or help with server cost ($10)

Donate via Paypal Become our Patreon

Thank you for your support!