"I know," I'd snap back, "but I'm saved."
And I really internalized it.
The greatest sin. Lucifer, the Morning Star, fell because of this sin.
If I were really super honest?
And about Jesus.
I took that seriously. After all, I was starved for a mentor or a role model, desperate for someone to pay attention to me, but I was starting to accept that no one would.
I never wore sweatpants again. I switched to tight black jeans.
But not surprised.
Whenever I was sad about this, or told anyone, they'd tell me that my sins weren't "that special". I wasn't especially hard to love, God's bigger than that.
Look deep, Erik. Can't you see they're right? The most important thing about you isn't yours.
Lucky when I got a girlfriend, even when she was horrifically emotionally abusive and would call me a "robot incapable of emotions".
It truly deeply scares me.
It has meaning.
And so does yours.
So do you.
Because of who you are, and what you are, and what's deep inside of you.
We can make new Beliefs, craft a new Culture, one that focuses on healing and moving forward.
We're more than our damage, the things people have done to us. That's the least interesting part of us. What's of value is moving forward, growing and healing and fighting for what's important to us.
What about you?