Thread by @LisPower1

I’ve never seen any Star Wars movies and I’ve decided to change that. Where do I start?

I’ve heard there are two schools of thought on this, I’d just like to know which is the right one.

Based off majority rule I started with IV.

I’m 15 minutes in and wildly confused. Is that a dinosaur?

Some questions:

Who are the short characters in the monk like robes?

When is this supposed to take place?

Wizards?!

I’ve now been introduced to Banthas, Sand People, and I’m assuming the Wizard?!

So the wizard is Obi Wan. And we’ve now been introduced to light sabers and ‘the force’

Why does Darth Vader use a voice modifier?

Apparently Vader is a sorcerer.

Clearly, I knew even less about these movies than I realized.

Wow they really killed his Aunt and Uncle and made literally no deal of it at all. Kinda rude.

There are a lot of dinosaurs.

Alderaan(?) is super diverse but also racist.

IS THAT CHEWBACCA?!

I HAVE FOUND HARRISON FORD

Oh wow. Jabba is ... interesting

Impressed by the number of characters who speak multiple languages.

The beaked cloaked guy seems up to no good. Shouldn’t a wizard know he’s being followed

Obi Wan was weirdly calm as he said “millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced”

Then he just told Luke to keep light sabering. Odd.

Watching Luke argue with Han feels oddly like watching a 20 year old argue with his future 30 year old self

They are all very bad at shooting their guns. Lasers? Laser gun things? Wildly bad aim my friends.

Obi Wan is really taking his leisurely time as everyone else gets shot at and almost smushed to death

So we’re supposed to believe Luke can’t aim a blaster (I’m learning the lingo, folks) to save his life. But he can lasso accurately enough escape the stormtroopers by swinging across a ravine on his first try?

Re: their escape

Princess Leia obvi knows the deal and is the wise one while Han Solo is full of misplaced confidence, thinks he’s smarter than her AND thinks he has a chance with her.

Classic.

Han Solo came back! Honestly a little surprised (though a bit obvious) because up to this point his character was entirely morally lacking and kinda shitty.

Still confused a bit about what Princess Leia is actually a princess of?

First (IV) movie thoughts:

- Whoa have special effects come a long way in 40 years.

- It was kinda confusing.

- Plot development was ... nonexistent?

- Neither Luke or Han are particularly that likable, though Luke wins by a mile

- Everyone needs blaster practice

Character ranking thus far:

1) C3P0
2) R2D2
3) Princess Leia
4) Luke
5) Obi Wan
6) Chewbacca
7) literally everyone else including the dinosaurs
8) Han Solo

That’s all for tonight. Stay tuned for more

Ok friends, I’m reembarking on my journey to a galaxy far, far away.

Honestly after I finished the last movie I kinda thought Obi Wan was still alive and we were just supposed to think he was dead. I have been informed that I was wrong.

Anyways, can’t wait to meet Yoda.

Luke has a knack for getting attacked and dragged around in remote areas.

Whatever took him looked like a cross between a Furbie and a Gremlin.

Yah so given ghost Obi Wan, he’s definitely actually dead. But I now have a lot of questions about his death.

Primarily, why did Obi stop fighting, smile, and then let Dart Vader saber him. Dudes a wizard he could have put up more of a fight!

Holy giant robot things

Lol now I know what Spider Man was alluding to in that scene in Captain America: Civil War when he references “the really old movie the empire strikes back”

Now seems like an appropriate time to note that prior to stating this adventure two days ago, this was really all I had seen that was Star Wars related.

HELLO YODA

Oh Jesus that voice

Yoda is having Luke do yoga because sure why not

Well this dinner party turned awkward quickly ... fucking Lando

“I love you”

“I know”

Seems about right tbh

So Darth Vader cuts off Luke’s hand, then casually drops “I am your father” and we’re just supposed to take the bad guy at his word?

I mean, obviously I know it’s true. But that’s some sketchy shit

Also, they really like severed limbs in this series.

Empire Strikes Back thoughts:

Han redeems himself a bit, Luke seems like an idiot. They both have problems listening to the people telling them what they’re about to do is dumb.

Yoda is good

I could def do without the weird love triangle situation

Character rankings:

Yoda
Chewbacca
C3PO
Princess Leia
Han Solo
R2D2
Luke
Lando

Overall, Empire Strikes back was way better than A New Hope. But more Yoda please