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I'm aware that Jared believes, and had told many people, that I'm abusing him. That's his justification for cheating on me. But the logic is flawed because even if I AM the worst person in the world, it's still his responsibility to break up with me instead of banging other girls
That said, I begged to know what I was doing that hurt him, so I could fix it. He could never give me actionable feedback. He couldn't point to any of my current behaviors that needed to change. I spent every day desperate to please him while he gave me the silent treatment.
He had absolute financial and social control over me. I have been powerless by comparison. I couldn't even move out without him cosigning my lease. I couldn't even get away when he didn't want me anymore.
I held on to this marriage for SO LONG because I believed in his goodness and he gave me just enough false hope to keep me hooked. He insisted he was trying, if only I were better. I thought if I was humble & corrected myself, love would eventually win out.
He was actually just cheating on me.
