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Heidi O'Ferrall✨
@AtelierHeidi
, 5 tweets, 1 min read Read on Twitter
I'm not a fan of cancel culture. Of course you should follow the people you like and ignore the ones you don't. But I also believe people are redeemable, if they want to be and work for it.
During these last few months I was made to feel like I was tainted and unforgivable. That's one of the worst feelings in the world. I do not wish that on anyone, not even the people who hurt me
I know Jared has been hurting for a long time in ways I don't fully understand. I still empathize with him. He was my best friend for 7 years. I want to be the type of person who can still draw on compassion in spite of their own pain. I'm still working on that, but I want it.
That said, I can only speak for myself. Draw your own conclusions, sure, and feel your feelings. Your response is valid too.
My point here is really just that I am not trying to incite hate towards Jared. I don't hate him. I would prefer to see him get help and heal.
I would never, ever take him back though. I can't be a part of his healing and we're better off separate. I still hope he recovers for his own sake.
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More from @AtelierHeidi see all

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Heidi O'Ferrall✨
@AtelierHeidi
Couple things:
Yes I am physically safe. I am still in the process of moving into my new place, which keeps me very busy, but it's empowering to have my own little spot in the world.
Yes, I'm in therapy. I have been for a long time, in order to cope with and get through this situation. My therapist is a huge badass and she challenges me and calls me out as well as supporting me. We all need accountability AND support.
I am universally declining all interview requests. I said what I have to say for now. I'm sure I'll have more observations as I heal and transition into life as a single person, which is a rally big emotional change. But I'm looking forward to moving on, not dwelling on it
Read 5 tweets
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Heidi O'Ferrall✨
@AtelierHeidi
I have never dragged any friend or ex online for the sake of it. But my public figure husband cheated on me with another public figure, publicly, while fans cheered them on thinking it was fiction.
I think a public conclusion is appropriate.
Any event I go to, people talk to me about Jared. Innocuous stuff about how they're fans of him too, or whatever.
Dealing with that while being abused by him was excruciating. I needed to tell people what happened to escape this.
He feels entitled to silence me. He thinks it's his right to keep his infidelity a secret, as though his reputation outweighs my trauma.

But this is my story too. This is what I lived through. I don't need anyone's permission to share my own experience.
Read 4 tweets
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Heidi O'Ferrall✨
@AtelierHeidi
I'm aware that Jared believes, and had told many people, that I'm abusing him. That's his justification for cheating on me. But the logic is flawed because even if I AM the worst person in the world, it's still his responsibility to break up with me instead of banging other girls
That said, I begged to know what I was doing that hurt him, so I could fix it. He could never give me actionable feedback. He couldn't point to any of my current behaviors that needed to change. I spent every day desperate to please him while he gave me the silent treatment.
He had absolute financial and social control over me. I have been powerless by comparison. I couldn't even move out without him cosigning my lease. I couldn't even get away when he didn't want me anymore.
Read 5 tweets

Related threads

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Wesley Yang
@wesyang
Cancel culture made this sort of punitive techno-revisionism first thinkable then inexorable.

vulture.com/2019/04/lori-l…
There is an underlying theory of moral contagion through the act of seeing with profoundly disturbing implications at work here
“Who controls the present, controls the past. Who controls the past controls the future.”

This reference entails no hyperbole.
Read 8 tweets
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Eva Cantor, drunk at the El Farol Bar
@PoRiverJamBand
People responding to Nathan Pyle ("alien comics guy") turning out to be a pro-lifer with revulsion isn't cancel culture run amok and a sign of the growing polarisation of our culture.

It's a sign of a society that's reached a limit of exhaustion with fundamentalist Christianity.
We are collectively tired of these people waging holy war in our country at the detriment of everyone here and, indeed, everyone outside of our country.

He is a relatively innocuous but still repulsive spinoff of that fundamentalism.
I'm not some Christian-hating coastal urban elite.

I grew up in north central Texas in a town of a thousand people. Necessarily, all of my friends as a kid were Christians.

That doesn't change the fact most of the "good ones" are quiet when the bad ones do what they do.
Read 6 tweets
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A.R. Moxon (read pinned tweet)
@JuliusGoat
The person who wrote this works for an organization that works to criminalize gay sex, and now is given space in a national newspaper to complain about having been called what he is, named by what he has chosen to be: a member of a hate group.
wsj.com/articles/we-we…
Donate to the SPLC, and be proud.
Hate groups hate groups that hate hate groups.

We should all hope to be hated by such as them.
Read 11 tweets
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Sam Bergman
@violanorth
@chriscerrone @MirandaViolin @fafnerthekite @seatedovation @DetroitSymphony @ronmark @marcgeelhoed I can’t give you a hard number, because ironically, there have been a lot of tweaks and outright changes to the national agreements over the last couple of decades made with the intention of giving orchestras *more* options for recording and release. 1/8
@chriscerrone @MirandaViolin @fafnerthekite @seatedovation @DetroitSymphony @ronmark @marcgeelhoed For instance, there are now different rates for commercial studio releases; live concert recordings made with only a brief patch session; radio broadcasts with or without concomitant internet streaming; streaming only releases; and downloadable audio. 2/
@chriscerrone @MirandaViolin @fafnerthekite @seatedovation @DetroitSymphony @ronmark @marcgeelhoed The idea is to make releasing high-quality audio (where such exists) somewhat more affordable without depriving the musicians who played on the recording of all payment, which is of course what a lot of people who “blame unions” actually want. 3/
Read 10 tweets
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Patrick Skinner
@SkinnerPm
Want to teach not just a course but an ethos of the opposite of ‘officer safety first’ which I totally understand why it’s taught. And how by accepting more potential risks we might actually lower actual risks.
Not an easy sell, but I really think the ‘warrior mindset’ might be a good workout motivator in the gym but it’s terrible policing on the streets. Want to be a warrior? Join the military. Want to give rides to desperate people or listen to why (inset issue) matters? Be a cop
If someone wants to shoot me they are gonna shoot me. I can cut down the odds a lot w/ positioning & paying attention to body language but 90% of calls aren’t dangerous to me. So I play those odds. And try to keep the 90% from turning bad. I can’t treat every call like an ambush
Read 15 tweets
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Liam Esler
@liamesler
Want journalists to cover your game or startup? Sweet! Here's a framework for thinking about coverage you might find to be useful, along with some tips to help optimise your chances of success along the way.
First up, I’m not going to tell you how to write your email. There are many resources to look at for that, and any formula I provide will potentially make your pitch formulaic - the last thing you want. I want you to think about WHY a journalist would cover something.
To get journalists to cover you, you need to understand what they want, and the business model for contemporary journalism. This is probably the most important reframing you can possibly do, and if you read nothing else about PR, please read this.
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