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If you knew me in high school then you knew I was basically obsessed with THE CROW. I had posters on my walls and a statue, and I read the graphic novel, well, obsessively. 1/
I created a new AOL/AIM account, "TheCrow331," the numbers standing for March 31st, the date of Brandon Lee's death. I also had an AIM account with the name "TheCrow021," with those numbers standing for February 1st, Lee's birthday. 2/
I'm not sure if I still have the posters. They might be rolled up and sitting in a closet. I know I still have the statue, which is sitting in its box in a closet. I also have a couple figures, one from McFarlane Toys and the other from NECA, collecting dust somewhere. 3/
I loved the movie not for its violence, which was filmed with an intimacy I hadn't seen before, but for the love story that drove the action: "Real love is forever," as the tagline went. 4/
I was probably one of those romantic goths, always wearing black, including a trench coat that was purchased shortly after seeing THE CROW (this was a few years before the trench coat became a symbol of the disaffected Columbine killers). 5/
I wrote awful dark, poetic horror stories about violence and blood, the world-weary protagonist forever searching for his lost love, or wallowing in self-pity, pining for a love that was forever unrequited. 6/
I listened to the movie soundtrack every day. And looking back, that soundtrack was amazing. The Cure, Nine Inch Nails, Stone Temple Pilots, Rage Against the Machine, the Violent Femmes, Helmet, the Jesus and Mary Chain, Pantera. That was my high school soundtrack. 7/
The movie, and graphic novel, formed the basis of my attitude toward relationships, for good and for ill. I was definitely overly dramatic, as most high school kids are. Love, or what I thought was love, was almost overwhelming, as was rejection. 8/
It was like I was carrying a great burden around with me, like a gloomy cloud hanging over my head. My every nerve was raw and exposed, and I didn't always handle my emotions appropriately. 9/
I like to think I've changed, that I'm more ... well-adjusted, I guess. And I think that's mostly true. I still have my unrequited love, but the world isn't ending because of it. My heart isn't threatening to explode out of my chest with every emotional swing. 10/
I'm still sitting here, typing this, while wearing black jeans and a black t-shirt, though, so maybe I haven't changed as much as I'd like to think. end/
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