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Noah Smith 🐇
@Noahpinion
, 6 tweets, 1 min read Read on Twitter
Feudalists: Let them eat cake

Revolutionaries: There is no cake, jerk. Off with your head!

Capitalists: Hey, let's build some factories, now everyone can afford cake!

Progressives: Hey this cake contains melamine

Capitalists: OK FINE, we'll take out most of the melamine..
Socialists: But I don't have as MUCH cake as other people, off with your heads!

Social Democrats: OK we can redistribute some of the pie...er, cake

Conservatives: No, because then a black person might get more cake than me

Neoliberals: How about cake for Bangladesh?
Technologists: Forget about cake, here's a gadget that lets you argue with people all day

Incels: Hey woman go bake me a cake

Trumpists: The immigrants and Muslims and SJWs are taking our cake

SJWs: Cake is a social con-

Everyone: DON'T SAY IT
Georgists: Tax land, not cake

Libertarians: Stop eyeing my cake, you moocher, btw can I have a taste of yours?

Socialists: *gif of guillotine slicing a cake*

Neoliberals: Gay Honduran cake trucks on every corner!
Warren: Here is my 23-point plan for giving everyone plenty of cake

Bernie: Here is my 23-point plan for making sure rich people have less cake

Buttigieg: I like cake

Biden: Did we eat cake yet?

Yang Gang: *glowy eyes pic of Yang surrounded by cakes*
Noah Smith: Japan makes really great cake

Everyone: SHUT UP ABOUT JAPAN ALREADY

Trump: While you weren't looking I burned all the cake

MAGA hordes: Finally, cake is great again

Environmentalists: Wait, we have to --

*sound of massive flood washing away all the cake*

(end)
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More from @Noahpinion see all

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Noah Smith 🐇
@Noahpinion
I'm not sure which annoys me more here:
A) the statement that a country that "isn't Caucasian" is "a different civilization", or
B) the fact that he totally forgets about World War 2
The whole thing is basically Skinner saying that only white people can care about human rights...
I mean, part of this is just reflexive racism. But I think a bigger part is the Trump administration trying to argue against the need to improve America's own human rights to provide a contrast with China, as we did in the Cold War with the USSR (and China).
Read 7 tweets
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Noah Smith 🐇
@Noahpinion
1/I have to say, though royalty is generally a silly institution, I'm very happy to see Americans paying some attention to the Japanese royal succession.

bloomberg.com/news/features/…
2/Inevitably, a bit of this attention is just to say "OMG Japan is turning fascist", which for the record I think is completely wrong:
3/But I think most of the attention is positive. Americans are really starting to care about Japan more, and to feel more of a "special relationship" with that country.

That's a very good thing IMO.
Read 13 tweets
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Noah Smith 🐇
@Noahpinion
1/A little over two years into his presidency, how has Donald Trump affected immigration to the United States?

Answer: He has reduced it.
2/Trump has dramatically curbed the number of refugees that the country accepts each year. This is usually around 70,000 or 80,000 per year; in fiscal year 2019 it will be 30,000.
vox.com/2018/9/17/1787…
3/Note that this is the *ceiling* on how many refugees can be admitted; the actual number tends to be lower. (Except for Europe!)

npr.org/2018/12/27/680…
Read 12 tweets

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JMHendersonSr❌
@ABustedBoomer
We have been told, repeatedly, that requirements for identification cards to vote is "racist."

Never mind the well-established fact that there are, literally, dozens of everyday events in our lives that demand that we have, and present, identification.
Those daily events include: travel (driver's license if you drive; photo identification to board a plane; a passport to travel internationally); conduct financial business, requirements to provide photo ID and, possibly, SSN, to open bank and other financial services accounts;
purchase utility services, including electric service, natural gas services, water, sewer, and trash services; obtaining a home telephone line or buying a cell phone and cell phone service; to make purchases (guns, automobiles, mopeds).
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Keri Leigh Merritt
@KeriLeighMerrit
Literally working on talking points today - for #Progressives to use as rebuttals against racist Southern politicians.

And yes, the #MoynihanReport is decimated.🔥
Exactly what I hoped to show w #MasterlessMen -that female-headed households result from extreme poverty, a harsh criminal justice system, & a labor system so bad that men are constantly on the move in search of work...
All the tired racist stereotypes white supremacists are currently spouting off about are stereotypes that used to be (and still are!) associated with poor whites (or Latinos, Native Americans, immigrants, etc.).

The problems aren't endemic to race.

They're endemic to class.
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Charlotte A. Cavatica
@cavaticat
everyone in North Carolina now either is or knows someone whose life has been absolutely goddamn wrecked by this hurricane. I have friends who fled Wilmington and don't know when or how they can go back, though their house is fine and they got lucky, all things considered—
I have a friend in Charlotte whose backyard is now a lake. Friends whose homes have just finished repairs from Matthew, only to be pummelled again by Florence. etc. We all know someone now.
EVERYONE IS GOING TO RESPOND TO THIS DIFFERENTLY and I am not here to police those reactions, or give the time of day to anyone who does. Some folks will be in shock. Some will make jokes. Some will finally just decide to leave the state forever.
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Regular Frog
@FrogCroakley
Hey @IKEAUK, big fan but what were you thinking with the ALEX draw set? The draws are *precisely* 1mm narrower than the length of an A4 sheet, so paper has to go in lengthways leaving loads of dead space. It's like something a sinister carpenter would design to drive someone mad.
So @IKEAUK, I offer you this dilemma: either sort out my fiendishly inefficient cabinet, or delegate someone to discuss the movie KRULL with me, and I will be placated. Choose wisely: I'm about to start watching KRULL.
KRULL begins with a sort of bladed frisbee whirling through space, heralded by a triumphant fanfare. Then, merry bucolic strings accompany the arrival of what appears to be a vast tree trunk around a twin-sunned world. Off to a good start.
Read 31 tweets
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Samara 🦑 Larkin
@squidlarkin
now that I understand more about how autistic people think (because I am one) I'm tempted to tweet more about that, but I kind of can't?

because I'd need to be able to compare it with how allistic people think, and I don't actually know what that's like (because I'm not one)
instead of making a point I'm going to ask a question. neurotypicals: does this thread make any damn sense to you? because I'm finding it to be delightful and insightful

(Cyrus has consented to being used as an example)
but to make what point I can right now, I've developed this newfound ability to sometimes locate brains that function similarly to mine based on the communication styles they use, and it's pretty dang neat
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