Thread by @FrankMPaul

Here we go! It's #OnlyConnect fan fiction: the first semi-final, in which the Love Triangle take on the Sleuths!

TWO REEDS

CLUE 1:
Professor McGonagall’s desk

CLUE 2:
The Duchess’s baby

CLUE 3:
Ethel Hallow

CLUE 4:
Chihiro’s parents

The encounter with the Sleuths backstage sapped Laura’s self-confidence, but as she spots the connection after three clues, she feels it trickling back. Next up are the Sleuths.

TWISTED FLAX

CLUE 1:
“Big Cheese” wicketkeeper: most pressing matter

CLUE 2:
New York Trilogy author: government measures reducing expenditure

CLUE 3:
“Blue Ain’t Your Color” singer: courteousness

CLUE 4:
Miniskirt designer: amount

“Ah, the New York Trilogy ¬– hardly the most satisfying of mysteries,” sighs Jonquilline before buzzing in with the right answer after two clues. The Love Triangle take on the next question.

WATER

CLUE 1:
Nancy: Request trace

CLUE 2:
Glenmama: Emergency services

CLUE 3:
Barnet: Call return

CLUE 4:
Lepanto: BT voicemail

Ric announces the answer, accompanying it with a little fist-pump, after the fourth clue. It’s the Sleuths to take their turn.

EYE OF HORUS

CLUE 1:
Design Patterns authors

CLUE 2:
“Damaged Goods” band

CLUE 3:
Influential figures in the Cultural Revolution

CLUE 4:
SDP founders

“A simple connection,” Olivia declares after three clues.
That which is simple on the surface,” interjects Achille, “like the passionate kiss of a lover, may have infinite layers beneath.”
The Love Triangle avoid each other’s gaze as they prepare for the next question.

LION

CLUE 1:
Laura

CLUE 2:
the Witch

CLUE 3:
Garfunkel

CLUE 4:
Schuster

Laura yelps upon seeing her name. She tries to pass it off as a fit of hiccups. “I know a cure for that,” ventures Ahlam, tracing a figure of eight around Laura’s eyes with her finger. Laura finds the experience intensely sensual and gives an involuntary grunt of pleasure.

Ric spots the connection after the third clue. Now it’s the Sleuths’ turn.

HORNED VIPER

CLUE 1:

CLUE 2:

CLUE 3:

CLUE 4:

“That is appropriate,” chirps Jonquilline, buzzing in after two clues. At the end of Round 1, the Love Triangle have 5 points, the Sleuths have 8. The Love Triangle will face the first question in Round 2.

ROUND 2:

HORNED VIPER

CLUE 1:
Son of Zeus and Maia

CLUE 2:
Bay (Kent), Hill (South London) and ghost (“Sometime a keeper here in Windsor Forest”)

CLUE 3:
Second instalment in Berlin trilogy

They fail to spot the answer; Olivia identifies it for a bonus point. “Capital! Well done, dear!” enthuses Jonquilline. It’s the Sleuths who’ll face the next question.

EYE OF HORUS

CLUE 1:
Soda

CLUE 2:
Geezer

CLUE 3:
Murmur

Olivia gives the correct answer after two clues. The Love Triangle will have a crack at the next question.

LION

CLUE 1:
1 of 4: Margaret Thatcher

CLUE 2:
2 of 4: Theresa May

CLUE 3:
3 of 4: Rab Butler

Once more they fail, and once more their opponents collect a bonus! Here come the Sleuths to take on their own question again.

TWISTED FLAX

CLUE 1:
Astronauts

CLUE 2:
Landlords to a criminal

CLUE 3:
Window cleaners

Neither team succeeds in spotting the connection. Now it’s the Love Triangle’s turn.

WATER

CLUE 1:

CLUE 2:

CLUE 3:

Ahlam cracks it after three clues! Ric squeezes her arm and Laura strokes her finger. Ahlam imagines herself as a Cheestring pulled apart, each half thrust between equally enticing lips. She snaps from her reverie to find a thread of drool stretching from her mouth to the desk.

TWO REEDS

CLUE 1:

CLUE 2:

CLUE 3:

Jonquilline identifies the link after two clues. After two rounds, the Love Triangle have 7 points, the Sleuths have 16. “Not to worry, my dears – plenty of time to catch up!” chirps Jonquilline to her opponents. The Love Triangle shudder in indignant unison.

The Sleuths are faced with this wall. They isolate the first two groups quick as a flash – then their increasingly agitated prodding is in vain and the wall freezes. They identify the connections for 6 points.

The Love Triangle are confronted with this wall. Sexual tension plus indignation make an inspired cocktail, and they manage 10 points!

Going into the final round, the Detectives have 17 points, the Sleuths have 22.

Here come Missing Vowels.

African countries and their largest cities:
MRC CN DC SBLNC
BN NN DCTN
C MR N NDDL
QT RLG NN DBT

The Love Triangle identify all four of the answers.

Mr Men and Little Misses as they are known in France:
MD MTRTR
MNSRGL TN
MNS RNC RYBL
M DMPRQ

Achille gets to the first three answers quickest, but Laura beats him to the final one.

Film titles where a Poet Laureate’s surname has been replaced by their predecessor’s surname:
TNNYSNP WRSNG LDM MBR
L TTLMNS HDWLL
THSTNF MD SNCNTY
STR T RKTHHGH SPCTR

THE END #OnlyConnect

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