Thread by @cdrsalamander

OK, gather around old Cold Warriors & kiddies alike - time for a trip down memory lane. I continue to work through Mama Salamander’s papers - a thorough woman who kept ALL THE PAPERS - & now and then I find a jewel.

This is a good follow-on to @RadioFreeTom & my snark earlier /1

this spring about how tiring it is to hear Millennials complain how scary & deprived they are, that the future is so bleak, why bring children in to it, bla, bla,bla.

We’ll let’s set the scene. Mama Salamander was born in the heart of the Great Depression & it was not until /2

her 10th yr that she saw the end WWII.

In 1961 she was 26-yrs old, married for two years & with a daughter in diapers. She & my dad were just transferred to Washington DC & moved in to a home in the Mantua neighborhood of Fairfax, VA. The welcome wagon (yes, it existed) came/3

by, & in their basket were two pamphlets. One with a nice introduction by one of the best and brightest, Robert S. McNamara. Mom underlined the things she thought important.

So, ready to survive nuclear war in suburbia?

Let’s give! We’ll start with the small one first. /4

This guy will die inside a month.

So far, mom is concerned. I’m afraid everything might be emphasized.

Yep. Everything on page 2 is emphasized as well ... and this farm is hosed.

Mom calmed down by pg-3, but I’m worried that she lacks concern that, “Hydrogen bomb explosions create large amounts of radioactive fallout.”

Maybe that she lived 11 miles fm The Pentagon, it was moot/6

This has to be @philewing fav pages as we have CONELRAD stations loud & proud. Also, both of these two people are dead, and the woman’s body language tells me she did not read what the welcome wagon brought her. If she did, she would know, “IT COULD KILL YOU!”/7

If twitter existed then, the likes of @HerbCarmen & @steeljawscribe would tweet pics of them building these shelters. Me? I’m the guy telling the wife, “Hey, we’re just going to hide in this culvert for a couple of weeks. Let me get this picnic blanket fm the trunk.”/8

That’s @WWATMD plan in the upper-left; just surround yourself w/books. @DavidLarter & @cgberube will just grab some pillow cases and raid the dirt fm raised garden beds.

I am concerned mom has not empathized anything recently. Perhaps she’s distracted by the narrow ankles /9

“Don’t forget a can opener and bottle opener.”

I feel seen.

Also, two weeks of human waste from a family of 4 in a garbage can? I don’t think this has been thought through.

No one has mentioned guns yet.

Sal’s welcome wagon might amend this pamphlet a bit./10

1. Who wears heels in a fallout shelter?
2. While dad tries in vain to find a working radio station, mom realizes she only has one Valium left./11

OK, helpful pamphlet, let’s review your 5-Steps.
1. Other than a white flash?
2. Are you kidding?
3. I wasn’t paying attention & can’t find this pamphlet in the panic.
4. 1 box of bandaids & bottle of Mercurochrome, how does that do?
5. There’s an AM radio in the Corvair.
/12

On to the big booklet now and the bestest of the brightest, ‘ole Robert S. McNamara - where the “S” stands for Strange (no kidding).

Good googly moogly, no wonder we screwed up Vietnam, “attempts,has been,the best...we can,prudent precautions,might happen,may differ...”

/13

Mom is emphasizing again. If She’s like me, she’ll start out strong and then quickly fade.

Well, at least they’re direct, “...millions of people will be killed...”/14

Like that mom emphasized, “There are no total answers, no easy answers, no cheap answers to the question of protection from nuclear attack. But there are answers.”

Gives you a window in to how she raised her son she brought in to the world half-a-decade later.
Also; fireball/15

Remember how their home in Mantua was 11-miles as the blast wave travels from The Pentagon? Mom was focused on that picture window in the living room that faces east. /16

As a mathematicianwith an infant, she got this page better than most./17

10 miles means a lot here. /18

Mom seemed to have a little too much interesting community shelters. /19

1. Is that a Christmas Tree?
2. “Gregarious teenagers often have no after-school hangout where they can relax with sodas and play the jukebox.”

This is the early 60’s...they have no idea what is coming.../20

Mom worked on downtown DC, so this was of import./21

Dad would wear a tie to the apocalypse, natch. @ConsWahoo would approve. /22

It appears one must have sweatervests as well.

Also, I note the mob is in the game. /23

“A plan but no time”

I am my mother’s son. /24

1. Nice work bench that you can get water fm the hot water heater if needed.
2. Lack of guns in the shelter supplies worries me. /25

/25a

OK, iodine I can get, but Ace Hardware is short in ratemeters, dosimeters and chargers./26

1. You can drinks spoiled milk.
2. Pet food is a go. /27

Radiation sickness with diarrhea & vomiting. I keep going back to the family of 4 in a small shelter w/a garbage can for human waste. And public shelters? /28

Hey, don’t forget your DDT dust. All responsible people have it on hand. Heck, you’re covered w/fallout in houses full of lead paint, why not? /29

I’m not saying this is overly optimistic at scale, but ... at least Old Glory is flying. /30

Delusion, thy name is page 40-41. /31

<narrator voice: though the government made great promises, they never delivered. <1980s Valley Girl gif: “As if!”>>/32

See the previous tweet. /33

At least we can rely on the Asbestos Cement Products Associative /34

...and there we go.

The DDT, lead paint, iodine, pet food and Asbestos along with Robert Strange McNamara will protect you from fallout - so tell me again about all the stress you feel from the student loans you took out for your gender studies degree. BT