Thread by @ekverstania

Jeepers, #ActuallyAutistic people, learn to recognise when some other autistic is having a meltdown on Twitter. How's your ability to reason through and resolve things mid-meltdown? Ja, me neither. So give the same consideration to them as you would want for yourself.

If you are convinced that you are right and you need to teach them your truth, know also that this won't be the other person's "most teachable moment"..

Also, think about who YOU have hurt during meltdowns. Some of those people were probably quite decent people, compared to the many jerks you could have chosen to hurt if meltdowns were premeditated.

In fact, how long did it take before you could be even mildly objective and ready to apologise with genuine insight for YOUR part of the mess? With me, my first apology is usually done in fear, but I am not ready to see where I had a choice. That part can even take a few days.

Non-autistic people sometimes think that autistic people who don't have an intellectual disability are automatically better at not having meltdowns, or at prevention and de-escalation for themselves. Sorry, nope.

Those are learned skills, and the teaching of those skills is not readily available off the shelf. Searching for help for that for years and not finding it drove me even further into self-harm.

You can have a postgrad degree and a vocabulary that would win a spelling contest, but an autistic meltdown is still a meltdown, no matter how academically you spew your caustic insults.

But she's so intelligent!
But she's so high functioning!

Right.

And she can drive a car too. Yay.

But she's also autistic, and autism isn't just rainbow lemniscates on t-shirts, it's sometines also horrible for everyone. Please don't imagine that we LIKE having meltdowns.

I don't LIKE that I hurt people during meltdowns.

My meltdown behaviour caused my best friend in the whole world to develop PTSD.

MY BEST FRIEND.

So, think about when you have been unreasonable and illogical and rude and hurtful during a meltdown and done things you regretted.

In fact, no, don't even think about it too deeply yet, I know how hard it is to face all that you did when you were out of control, and that somehow just before that, something bad happened to you too, and for a moment you saw no other options.

Got that thought, though, safely contained, but within sight?

Good. Now, bear this in mind when someone else has a meltdown, and know that they may not be the champion you are today, who can deflect and redirect and contain the volcano.

Tomorrow we can check how much is left of the town and learn to do better within time.

For now, I am going to bed.

Forgive each other.

See you later.

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