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So my beloved father-in-love died 2 months ago. He suspected he wouldn't see the end of this year (but not how close death was ) and wanted to say goodbye to the world the way he always wanted to.
Being Catholic, he had his final rites (wanted to do it while he was conscious) and had a champagne reception afterwards with the gourmet version of all his favorite foods catered by a chic restaurant and lots of champagne
He had all but one of his 3 children , all but 4 grandkids (we followed via Skype) and there was laughter (a lot of it) . Obviously, there were tears too.He chose the reading for his funeral,
told his grandkids who wanted to eulogize him whenever he died, to be sure to articulate properly and to speak into the microphone (he was a Jesuit-trained school teacher, so diction was very important to him), chose a prayer to be said while he breathed his last
Months later, when he became sicker and death appeared closer than it had ever been, even while we hoped he'd pull through, his family took every chance they could to say goodbye. More time was spent with him, those abroad got daily pictures
and his grandkids abroad (mine) wrote him letters the week he died telling him how much they loved him and appreciated him and saying thanks for being a great opa and saying goodbye.
Months later, as he lay dying, ALL of his children and his wife were at his bedside, reciting the prayer he'd asked for (and which had been printed out and kept in his sick room for that purpose) until he stopped breathing
Four days later, he gathered a crowd at his funeral, was cremated, and is hopefully, resting in peace. When my MIL's sister was in the hospice, we all got a chance to say goodbye, the kids said thank you to her for the 'waffels and the chocolate" she plied them with on the daily
she, a former nun, also had her sacarment of the sick, and a small reception where we had coffee and cookies and laughed and cried. It was a consolation to know that they/we embraced their death, made the most of the time left and got a chance to remind them of how loved they
were and to say goodbye. Death of a loved one hurts , but sometimes one is blesed with a chance to witness a 'happy' death. And what great comfort it is!
