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10 tweets,
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The fastest way to understand how someone will treat you is to simply hold no power over them. It becomes easy to find out whether they are default kind/unkind.
The dynamics of people working for you or working with you are significant. You would be surprised how powerful a peer relationship can be to someone even if you think you don't hold real power over them. You actually do.
Default unkind people judge you quickly, they size you up, they make assumptions about you based on appearance, and they care little about whether they're offending you. It's transnational.
Default kind people welcome you, they're friendly, they assist in orienting you, they include you, and make few assumptions, and are interested in listening to your opinion/perspective.
I think this is why the "office manager" test is valuable one for most people hiring. It is easy to be default unkind to the front-desk person or an assistant. I often asked people in perceived "inferior" positions how they were treated before hiring that person.
If you're in a position of power, another test is to just see how someone treats a friend of yours that seemingly has no position of power. It is stark how humans treat each other if there's nothing to be gained from another individual.
One challenging job of a CEO is it's easy for someone that reports to you to be kind to you (fake) but masquerade as default unkind to everyone else. It becomes tricky to discover the truth & you will lose valuable staff until you do. People will actively lie to you for a while.
There's also a big difference people who are default unkind and people who just are socially challenged. The defining line being: their intention & are they willing to be wrong, at least in the workplace.
Thanks for reading tonight. I had a recent experience where I was in a situation like this and got to experience first hand how a *group* of people would treat me: default kind vs default unkind. How to react is a different thread/story...
PS: it's more fun to subtweet yourself and your own personal experiences :)
