, 8 tweets, 2 min read Read on Twitter
Mueller: I wrote a detailed, 400-page report explaining an attack on our country. I spent years on it. See also: indictments + people in prison.

Pundits: yes, but can you do it with jazz hands? A table flip? A racist tweet? Otherwise, we'll be bored.
Mueller: they're still attacking us right now, and will keep doing it until they're stopped.

Pundits: If you could put this in context of a House Hunters International episode ending, we'd be way more interested.
Mueller: while we were trying to figure out how other countries are attacking us, so that we could defend ourselves, Trump and his people impeded us at every possible turn.

Pundits: but the real question is whether he would be compelling on an episode of Chopped.
Mueller: the president could be indicted after he leaves office.

Pundits: do you happen to have a gaggle of sister-wives at your house? If so, we'd be very interested to hear your opinion on just about everything.
Mueller: accepting help from foreign entities during a campaign is unethical, unpatriotic, and in many cases criminal. We should hold our elected officials to standards higher than squeaking through avoidance of criminal prosecution.

Pundits: he's not very tan.
Mueller: other countries are figuring out how to do exactly what the Russians are doing, and will keep going until they're stopped.

Pundits: if you could say all this while getting a makeover, we'd probably cover it.
People who know Mueller, because he's too dignified to brag about himself: He's a decorated war hero, lifelong public servant, and one of the finest prosecutors this nation has seen.

Pundits: well, but we were really hoping that he secretly knows how to sing opera.
Schiff: thank you for your service, sir.

Pundits: yeah, but he wouldn't even TRY to do the cha-cha.
Missing some Tweet in this thread?
You can try to force a refresh.

Like this thread? Get email updates or save it to PDF!

Subscribe to Sara Danner Dukic
Profile picture

Get real-time email alerts when new unrolls are available from this author!

This content may be removed anytime!

Twitter may remove this content at anytime, convert it as a PDF, save and print for later use!

Try unrolling a thread yourself!

how to unroll video

1) Follow Thread Reader App on Twitter so you can easily mention us!

2) Go to a Twitter thread (series of Tweets by the same owner) and mention us with a keyword "unroll" @threadreaderapp unroll

You can practice here first or read more on our help page!

Follow Us on Twitter!

Did Thread Reader help you today?

Support us! We are indie developers!

This site is made by just three indie developers on a laptop doing marketing, support and development! Read more about the story.

Become a Premium Member ($3.00/month or $30.00/year) and get exclusive features!

Become Premium

Too expensive? Make a small donation by buying us coffee ($5) or help with server cost ($10)

Donate via Paypal Become our Patreon

Thank you for your support!