Thread by @LZats

Let's talk about language and responsibility for a minute.

Many of us grew up chanting "sticks and stones can break my bones but words can never hurt me." This rhyme never sat well with me, because it means we're are supposed to push hurt deep until it calcifies

It's a joke that we think that words don't hurt us. Because words are how we are understood in the world, they define us, and if you subscribe to the Sapir-Whorf hypothesis, they make us who we are.

As humans in the 21st century, we have the great privilege of connection. As individuals, we can communicate directly with more people than anyone in history has ever before. And this ease of communication means that we are exposed to a large diversity of experience

It also means that our words, spoken in hate, or ignorance, have the ability to do far more damage than any sticks or stones. It is our responsibility as members of this community to strive to reduce the amount of damage we do with our words

So, when someone mentions that a word hurts them, or even that they've been told this word hurts another group of people, it is everyone's responsibility to
1) BELIEVE THEM and
2) STOP SAYING IT

I don't care if you have a black friend who says it's okay. I don't care if you didn't know. I don't care if it was an accident. I don't care if the group you're offending is tiny. If it hurts someone, don't say it.

For people in positions of power, whether they're white, male, straight, upper class, able-bodied, etc, it feels bad to be told to limit one's language, especially if a word isn't bad in your lived experience. It may seem like you're being attacked. That people are too sensitive

But words aren't wholly intellectual, and neither is our reaction to them. A single word, like the n-word, the r-word, or g*psy, likely carries with it deep trauma for a person hearing it. By saying it, the user is retraumatizing the listener and invalidating their experience

This trauma is historical. It's institutional. It's supported in reinforced in the idioms and phrases we use. Our voices are louder now than ever before, but our capability to harm is stronger, too. Therefore, it's our responsibility to limit that harm as best we can.

I'll leave you with a story: three years ago, Chris Pratt tweeted something about his spirit animal. I gently corrected him, but his first reaction was scorn. He QT'd me, leading to literal weeks of harassment. I was lucky because I could handle it. But then something happened.

He DM'ed me, thanking me for telling him about this sacred term that he had no idea was appropriated. He resolved to stop using it in an effort to be respectful to all his fans. He hasn't used it since.

If the Worst Chris can correct his language, so can we all.