Thread by @thearmchaircom

So let me talk about forgiveness right quick.

My parents split up when I was 7. It was an ugly divorce. Lots of wrong done. Much trauma.

One day, when I was 25, I realized I needed to forgive my dad. I was hurt and angry for many years.

Suddenly, I had the realization that my spirit wasn’t right. I realized that I wasn’t at peace. So I chose to forgive. I realized that I could not be where I needed to be without forgiving

Forgiving my dad is something that was deeply personal and freeing for me. It didn’t matter hill of beans in the grand scheme of things. But my soul feels at peace.

WITH ALL OF THAT SAID, my forgiveness doesn’t change the wrongs that my family experienced. My forgiveness doesn’t change any of my family dynamics. I forgave FOR ME because it was what my heart felt convicted to do.

I would feel exploited as crap if someone used my story of forgiveness to silence others with similar experiences. Which brings me to my point.

What Botham’s brother did was a personal act. I don’t get it. I don’t agree with how it was carried out. But it’s his.

Far be it from ANYONE to use this to prescribe to the black community how we should respond to this and other injustices. Because it’s not.

White people want the quick fix that requires the least amount of work from them.

Y’all don’t get to do wrong to black folks and then demand that we forgive you. Y’all don’t get to weaponize scripture and everything else to support your self-centeredness.

The lesson you should take is that some black people will be more than happy to offer forgiveness. This is a gift that you don’t deserve. And sense you don’t deserve it, you don’t get to dictate who, when, how and if it happens. The end.