Thread by @CyrusShepard

Been in SEO 10+ years, which means I'm privy to A LOT of industry secrets.

In short: I know where all the bodies are buried.

No more hidden truths. It's time to reveal to you what goes on behind the SEO curtain:

1. To save costs, Google quit crawling the web years ago.

In fact, since 2014, all ranking data is a combination of Moz Domain Authority and CTR data from Jumpshot.

The results are eerily accurate.

2. Gary Illyes is an android created out of the secretive Google X project.

G.A.R.Y stands for:

Google
Authority
Relationships
Yodeler

John Muller created a younger version of himself in his spare time to answer more webmaster questions.

3. Rand Fishkin's mustache. Perfect, right?

Let's simply say he's had "work" done.

4. Ahrefs, SEMrush, and Moz are all owned by CISCO.

5. Dogs are unnaturally good at sensing keyword density.

6. Data leaked from the dating app Tinder revealed that "SEO" was the most likely word to get a date across all demographics

In fact simply mentioning the word "SEO" in your bio was almost guaranteed to get multiple right swipes

They have kept this knowledge secret for 7 years

7. "LSI Keywords" were the result of CIA psychedelic mind control experiments of the 60s.

They could never get them to work.

8. Neil Patel buys so many links, he now controls 80% of the world market.

This has created a scarcity across parts of Africa and much of Asia, where links are now desperately needed.

9. Roger MozBot is voiced by Gary Illyes.

10. Content really IS king in SEO. Who knew?