1. Hello and welcome! It’s episode 272 of #MrMrsBetterHalf. Mr. & Mrs Better Half is designed to strengthen marriages and relationships that will lead to marriage, with wisdom from God's Word. 
2. In the last episode, we discussed the topic, “Lying Lenses” which dealt with filtering people in and out of our lives based on our world perspectives which may not be accurate. Missed it? Catch up here: bit.ly/2MDX0sP #MrMrsBetterHalf
3. This week’s discussion is “Relationship Myth Busters”. We all have heard various things that are supposedly rules/facts/guidelines for relationships and marriages. Many of these are myths and nothing more. #MrMrsBetterHalf
4. A myth is a widely held but false belief or idea. Many may live by it, but it doesn’t make it true. Two extreme examples are “all men are scum” and “all women are gold diggers”. #MrMrsBetterHalf
5. It is dangerous to build relationships or marriages on myths and expect things to go smoothly. It’s just like believing rumours or accepting traditions without asking questions. It is more expedient to go after the truth. #MrMrsBetterHalf
6. Our backgrounds, cultures and exposure can affect our perspectives and expectations. When we fashion our relationships after negative worldly traditions, we invariably negate the power of God in our situations and in our lives. #MrMrsBetterHalf
7. Today, we will examine some of the myths that are common with respect to relationships (for singles) and marriages (for couples) so we can glean some lessons and separate principles from myths. #MrMrsBetterHalf
8. Let’s start with singles. Myth 1: “It’s okay to live together before marriage”. Some people want this in order to discover if they are compatible with their partners and believe this is only possible if they live in close quarters. #MrMrsBetterHalf
9. I’ve heard arguments about how important it is to know if someone snores, how bad their farts smell, if they can cook, if they are tidy and so on. The question I would ask is, ‘are these really necessary?’ #MrMrsBetterHalf
10. Whose fart doesn’t smell? Who can’t get better at cooking? Who can’t improve their personal habits or even get medical intervention if they have a condition that makes them snore? #MrMrsBetterHalf
11. All these are unnecessary to insist on because your life together will be a journey of discovery. During courtship, focus on more important things like your values, spiritual & mental states, sense of vision and service and so on. #MrMrsBetterHalf
12. Many of the things you are worrying about don’t require cohabitation to evaluate. Focus on the important things, you don’t need to live with a person to know if they share the same faith with you. #MrMrsBetterHalf
13. You don’t need to live with someone to know if they have good character, integrity, respect or compassion. Spend your time in courtship asking the right questions and observing his or her character. #MrMrsBetterHalf
14. On the sex issue, please understand that sex is not a gift or talent. You can learn to get better at it, so there’s no rush. Many married people will tell you hilarious stories of their first few times with their spouses, but things got better. #MrMrsBetterHalf
15. Myth 2: “There is just one person for me to marry”. A lot of people got this notion from the story of creation and how God created Eve specifically for Adam. We sometimes forget they were the only 2 on earth at the time. #MrMrsBetterHalf
16. As time went on and man multiplied, the options for who could become a spouse increased. And while it is important to be careful to choose who to marry, insisting that there is only one person for you puts you under unnecessary pressure. #MrMrsBetterHalf
17. What if you believe you have found your ‘one’, but that person doesn’t think you are the one for him or her? Will you stalk him/her until s/he agrees or remains single forever? Why put yourself through unnecessary hardship? #MrMrsBetterHalf
18. Let’s take a logical look at it. There are over 7 billion people on earth today but there isn’t an equal ratio of men to women or ratio of male to female in the same age bracket or values. This already makes the equation skewed. #MrMrsBetterHalf
19. I encourage you to look for a person who is compatible with you in values, respect, level of attraction etc. Find a person who will be your true friend, whom you can trust and whom you want as a partner in life. #MrMrsBetterHalf
20. Let’s proceed to Myth 3 which is for married couples: “marriage ends loneliness”. Some people argue that God created Eve for Adam because it wasn’t good for him to be alone and that addressed the issue of loneliness. #MrMrsBetterHalf
21. I think that is a misinterpretation of that story. God made Eve for Adam for the purpose of companionship, not as a cure to loneliness. Loneliness is a state of mind. It is a lack of a sense of connection, not a lack of company. #MrMrsBetterHalf
22. It is possible to be alone but not be lonely. But admittedly, it is easier to experience loneliness when you are alone. However, the fact that you are single doesn’t mean you should be overwhelmed by feelings of loneliness. #MrMrsBetterHalf
23. Even as a single person you should have a community of people who you call family. Be they your friends, relatives or people in your church. You should have people who show you love and care and who you, in turn, show love and care. #MrMrsBetterHalf
24. Many times, the challenge is that people lack the social skills to connect with people. This problem sometimes stems from low self-esteem or the fear of being rejected. These are fears that marriage can’t solve; you need to deal with them head-on. #MrMrsBetterHalf
25. If you wait for a spouse to cure your loneliness, you will be disappointed. For one thing that’s too big a load for one human being. S/he is not capable of being your everything and you will exhaust him or her. #MrMrsBetterHalf
26. We are created for connection, not isolation. You must learn to relate with different people on different planes. Most of all, you need to connect to God because He can fill the largest vacuum in your heart. #MrMrsBetterHalf
27. Myth 4: “Conflict means a lack of love”. In other words, if you fall out or have a strong disagreement with your spouse or significant other, it means s/he doesn’t love you. #MrMrsBetterHalf
28. Why are we so quick to come to this conclusion in marriage, yet when we fall out with our parents or siblings, we are not as quick to come to the same conclusion? Don’t give in to the emotions of the moment; they are untrustworthy. #MrMrsBetterHalf
29. Let’s start by asking ourselves this – why do we have conflict? Is it because we don’t love each other or that there are situations in life that confront us and sometimes provoke conflict? #MrMrsBetterHalf
30. Jesus said, “in this world, you will have tribulation”. And that should tell us that the presence of issues doesn’t mean an absence of love. Love doesn’t eradicate challenges or conflict. Rather, love speaks the truth even in difficult situations. #MrMrsBetterHalf
31. There is no person that can confront you about areas that need a change in your life like your spouse. If nobody is talking in your marriage, someone is either being oppressed or has mentally checked out of the relationship. #MrMrsBetterHalf
32. The real issue is not whether there will be conflict, but how you manage conflict. You must learn how to balance truth with love. Learn to fight fair and strive to come to amicable resolutions. Conflicts should not tear you apart. #MrMrsBetterHalf
33. One proof that you are growing in your relationship is your ability to solve conflict, fight fairly and communicate effectively. These things should bring you closer, not drive you apart. #MrMrsBetterHalf
34. These myths are proof that you shouldn’t base your relationship on other people’s ideas, assumptions or popular beliefs. Rather, seek the truth in God’s word and use that as a guide for your relationship and marriage to thrive. #MrMrsBetterHalf
35. I hope this has been helpful to you. I will be back next week with another topic. Until then, thanks for following, participating and RTing. May your marriages and relationships be sweet! #MrMrsBetterHalf
