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1. Hello and welcome! It’s episode 267 of #MrMrsBetterHalf. Mr. & Mrs Better Half is designed to strengthen marriages & relationships that will lead to marriage, with wisdom from God's Word. 
2. In the last episode, we discussed the topic, “Soul Prosperity: A Key to Enjoying your Married and Single Life” Missed it? Catch up here: bit.ly/2mknBAd #MrMrsBetterHalf
3. This week’s topic is “Leave So You Can Cleave”. It is a topic that applies to both single and married people because as I will explain, leaving and cleaving is not automatic. #MrMrsBetterHalf
4. Leaving and cleaving is a process. It is not an event that magically happens at the altar when two people get married. Wedding ceremonies really just signal the beginning of a journey into cleaving. #MrMrsBetterHalf
5. There is a misconception that the moment you get married, cleaving will happen automatically. This is false. Common interests or chemistry alone don’t make a soulmate. Attaining soulmate status is a journey. #MrMrsBetterHalf
6. If you want to relocate, you will do a lot of research, ask the right questions from the right people, prepare properly, find out how to settle down quickly – it’s the same with marriage, marriage is a relocation from one life station to another. #MrMrsBetterHalf
7. You’re moving from where you used to be to where you want to be. You must take your time to prepare for marriage as you would any major change in your life – mentally, emotionally, spiritually, physically – in order to maximize that experience. #MrMrsBetterHalf
8. When relocating, you must ask the right questions. What should you carry? What will the weather be like? What are the common challenges one may face? How can you be productive in the new environment? #MrMrsBetterHalf
9. Before you leave for a journey, you save money, pack your belongings, and dispose of unneeded baggage. Relocating means you are not planning to come back to where you were before. It’s not a holiday, it’s a new life. #MrMrsBetterHalf
10. You do not make all these plans the day you are supposed to travel… the preparation for relocation should take place long before you head to the airport. If you rush the process, you are likely to be unprepared for the journey. #MrMrsBetterHalf
11. However, many people go into marriage unprepared. They have neither let go of useless baggage nor have they adequately prepared for the new journey. This is why some marriages end in divorce. #MrMrsBetterHalf
12. Like countries deport visitors or immigrants who are not well-behaved back to their home countries, marriage can “deport” a person who isn’t well behaved or prepared for the journey. That’s when divorce happens. #MrMrsBetterHalf
13. So, married people, the fact that you are married doesn’t mean that you have left your parents (or the influence of certain people) and have decided to cleave to your spouse and make him/her your primary influencer. #MrMrsBetterHalf
14. Here are examples of how you can be married yet have not left your parents. (a) You can’t make a simple decision without consulting mom or dad. (b) Their opinion matters more than your spouse’s. #MrMrsBetterHalf
15. (c) You still crave mommy’s cooking or say things like, ‘this is how my dad does it’ or ‘this is how we do it at my house’, in order to win an argument. (d) You are financially dependent on your parents etc. #MrMrsBetterHalf
16. In the same vein, you have not cleaved to your spouse if (a) You make important decisions without consulting him/her or without getting his/her buy-in. (b) You are secretive about important issues. #MrMrsBetterHalf
17. (c) Your word is the law and you are never open to a dissenting opinion or feedback. (d) You have made no effort to embrace your spouse’s culture, interests or differences. #MrMrsBetterHalf
18. (e) You and your spouse can’t claim to be friends. When you think of the top 5 people who are important and influential in your life, your spouse is nowhere near that list. #MrMrsBetterHalf
19. Singles, even if you are not planning to get married, you should be planning to become responsible adults. It’s time to leave childish things behind. #MrMrsBetterHalf
20. Embrace responsibility and productivity - in other words, get a job! Attain financial independence. Embrace self-leadership. Have a life vision and mission. #MrMrsBetterHalf
21. It is ridiculous that an adult needs his or her parents to do their laundry, go to the market for them or prepare their food. Some people cannot even fill a form without their parents’ help! #MrMrsBetterHalf
22. Please take this challenge to grow up seriously. Your future spouse wants to marry a man and a woman, not a child. It’s time to leave childish things and cleave to adulthood and responsibility. #MrMrsBetterHalf
23. In summary, what kind of baggage should we leave behind as we prepare for marriage? Or if you are already married, what baggage should you get out of your home so you can build a better future? #MrMrsBetterHalf
24. A) Get rid of past experiences. These include the effect of past relationships, hurts, or experiences. Deal with any issues in your past that may have skewed the way you view life or relationships. Let them go. #MrMrsBetterHalf
25. If you grew up in an unhealthy environment, take the time to renew your mind and change your expectations. The fact that your parents had an awful marriage doesn’t mean that you will have one too. #MrMrsBetterHalf
26. Marriage is founded on principles. What principles did they break and what principles should you keep? Keep the right perspective in front of you and let go of the past. #MrMrsBetterHalf
27. B) Get rid of wrong ideas. For instance, having the wrong notion of the concept of submission can lead to an abusive relationship or marriage. Remember that mutual submission means preferring one another in love. #MrMrsBetterHalf
28. Mutual submission is supposed to bring joy and peace, not oppression and repression. Wrong ideologies can sink a marriage very quickly and make it unbearable to endure. #MrMrsBetterHalf
29. Another wrong idea is that of the man being the sole provider in the home. People often quote the verse that says, ‘a man that cannot provide for his home is worse than an infidel’. But we have read 1 Timothy 5: 8 out of context. #MrMrsBetterHalf
30. Paul was writing to Timothy primarily about the care of widows, not just any type of widow, those that were helpless and destitute. #MrMrsBetterHalf
31. Ladies, if you are your husband’s partners, why would you want to adopt the position of a dependent? The Proverbs 31 woman we love to talk about is smart, industrious and productive. #MrMrsBetterHalf
32. Should I tell you the truth? A man who insists on being the sole provider might have an issue with control. That’s when you hear things like “you’ll leave my house today!”. If you both were partners, there wouldn’t be a “my” house; it would be ours. #MrMrsBetterHalf
33. Single ladies, don’t go into marriage expecting to be the project of a man. If you do, don’t be surprised if he then treats you like a project – someone to be fixed and crafted to his liking, after which he can replace you when he gets tired. #MrMrsBetterHalf
34. Does this mean that a man should slack off and be a clown? Of course not. Men, you must show leadership, responsibility and productivity. But wives should be partners, helpers and confident contributors to the home. #MrMrsBetterHalf
35. C) Get rid of unfruitful habits. e.g. bad money habits. Do you have savings or do you spend all you earn? Another is sexual habits. Dating and courtship is an opportunity for you to learn self-control. #MrMrsBetterHalf
36. Even if you are not a Christian and choose to disregard God’s instruction on marriage and purity, abstinence is a lesson in managing your appetite. Right now, you are choosing to let your appetite rule you. #MrMrsBetterHalf
37. Being married does not make you immune to sexual temptation. If you have no handle on your appetite now, you will be at a risk when serious temptations come. #MrMrsBetterHalf
38. (D) Leave unproductive relationships. Leave the influence of foolish friends, controlling influences and the influence of benefactors that are keeping you dependent instead of helping you become independent. #MrMrsBetterHalf
39. Bottom line, don’t let your past hinder your future. Shed unnecessary or unproductive weights and adopt productive habits and behaviours. #MrMrsBetterHalf
40. I hope this has been helpful to you. I will be back next week with another topic. Until then, thanks for following, participating an RTing. May your marriages and relationships be sweet! #MrMrsBetterHalf
