Thread by @JayWhistler

My turn for #RevPit #10Queries! First, a summary of my submission age categories & genres, a guide to abbreviations, then some general observations.

MG=Middle Grade
YA=Young Adult
A=Adult

I received:
1 MG SFF
1 YA Dys
3 YA SFF
1 A Dystopian
1 A Mystery
3 A SFF

SFF = Science Fiction/Fantasy, and I categorized the MS that way if it was either/or.
Dys=dystopian

#RevPit #10Queries

Now for observations that I noticed across the board. Always follow submission instructions. Don’t give editors/agents an excuse to reject based on technicalities. If you submit to our annual #RevPit event, this WILL count against you. #10Queries

Start query with MS synopsis. Grab attention first! Then give those boring MS details about word count, age category, genre, and comp titles. Also remember to include your bio, even if it’s simple. #RevPit #10Queries

Keep MS synopsis <250-ish words. Editors/agents are busy people with dozens of submissions/day. Get to the point fast.

#RevPit #10Queries

Find a qualified CP who can spot grammar, punctuation, usage, spelling errors before you sent them to an editor/agent. Those can be reasons to reject that have nothing to do with the strength of your writing or story.

#RevPit #10Queries

And now, on to what you really came here for, the submissions. So here we go!

#RevPit #10Queries

Q1: YA Dys
Can you shorten MS synopsis a bit? Sounds like an unlikeable MC. Not always a bad thing. But can you give a clue how the unlikeable MC might be redeemed? And why is MC the only one who can tackle this problem? #RevPit #10Queries

P1: Good world building & character voice. Some set up of what’s to come. A hint of stakes. There are some confusing elements that need to be clarified re: relationships and MC’s role in this world. Based on query, I’m intrigued. #RevPit #10Queries

Q2: A SFF
Start w/MS synopsis & move bio after MS data. Intriguing MS info, but cut ∼50 wds. Keep bio to only writing-related content. Are you #ownvoices? Mention that. If not, have you had an authenticity reader? Mention that. #RevPit #10Queries

P2: I like that we start in media res, but starting in media res doesn’t always mean we know the stakes, and they aren’t clear here, so we need a hint. Be careful of head hopping. Hard to connect with characters that way. #RevPit #10Queries

Q3: A SFF
I’m confused by synopsis, not sure what plot is. So much is happening that I don’t know real focus. The last sentence of the synopsis is info that should be revealed much earlier! Good bio and MS data. #RevPit #10Queries

P3: Confusing beginning. Is this intentional? Good internal conflict for MC, but no idea what external conflict might be, so I’m not invested yet. I need more. Does the story start too early, perhaps? #RevPit #10Queries

Q4: A Mystery
The synopsis has a been-there-done-that feel. What makes your MS different in this crowded genre? Why this MC, this storyline? What motivates MC? Make your MC, MS & query stand out in the slush pile. #RevPit #10Queries

P4: I worry that prologue gives away mystery. I like that story begins right away. Good char descr woven into narrative, not a list of traits. There's a glaring inconsistency in these pgs. A good CP can help spot it b4 you sub to eds/agents. #RevPit #10Queries

Q5: YA SFF
A topic/theme/plot we’ve seen a lot. What makes your MC stand out? What is your unique spin on the genre? Convince eds/agents that your MS rises above everything in the slush pile by showing them something different. #RevPit #10Queries

P5: Good character & world building in opening sequence. Subsequent pgs too similar to contemp fiction to feel like SFF. Needs more world building here, & clearer stakes. How does this affect MC? Also, voice feels adult so far, not YA. #RevPit #10Queries

Q6: A SFF
Good bio and MS data. Good use of comp titles. Major typo in synopsis, not one that eds/agents will overlook. Interesting concept. Can you explain stakes for MC better? Why this MC? Why not walk away? #RevPit #10Queries

P6: Good explanation of backstory w/o feeling like info dump. Also incorporates action into dialogue well & physical character description into narrative w/o resorting to a list of traits. Good voice. I would request more. #RevPit #10Queries

Q7: MG SFF
Great voice in query w/lots of promise of action, stakes, & unique plot. Good synopsis & comp title use. Where is your bio? Even something simple just to show dedication to craft or connection to subject of MS will work. #RevPit #10Queries

P7: People say avoid prologues, but this one works. It creates mood, prepping reader for intensity to come, esp b/c 1st scene, though full of stakes, appears fairly normal. Prologue assures it’s not. I would request more! #RevPit #10Queries

Q8: A Dys

Good description of cast of characters & clear stakes. Why is this MC the “chosen one,” and why now? What sets MC apart from anyone else? Otherwise, it feels too typical of the genre and might not garner editors'/agents’ attention. #RevPit #10Queries

P8: Good world building & setting. We get to know MC a bit, but by end, still don’t know name/gender. Intentional? Voice is great, sets it apart from others in genre, but not quiiiiite enough. Last ¶ twist could do that, though, if that continues. #RevPit #10Queries

Q9: YA SFF

Clear stakes for MC in last ¶ of synopsis, but I’m less clear about overall plot, even after reading thru several times. Query letter or MS issue? 🤷🏻‍♀️ Love the bio ¶! That could be enough to keep ed/agent reading. #RevPit #10Queries

P9: Great voice, starting off funny, good 1-liners. Good sense of MC right away. Lots of character names makes it a tad tough to keep straight this early. Second to last ¶ is good reveal, but makes last sentence fall a little flat. Might need a diff end. #RevPit #10Queries

Q10: YA SFF

Move MS data after summary. Grab attention first. Interesting concept, but plot description makes me question age category. Great bio. I’m intrigued enough that I would continue reading, but with reservations. #RevPit #10Queries

P10: Lots of info dumping here that could be revealed thru flashbacks. Perhaps story starts later? Voice feels older than stated age level. Given the concept (which I like), I’m torn abt whether to request more pgs, which means an agent probably wouldn’t. #RevPit #10Queries

And there you have it, #RevPit friends! All my #10Queries wisdom wrapped up. I’ll be emailing my winners by the end of the weekend with their submissions. Stay tuned for @FromCarly and all her brilliance! And now you have five minutes to refresh your tea.

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