Thread by @attritionorg

Mental health in InfoSec is an industry problem. In so many ways.. the least of which is the culture demanding untenable hours in the pursuit and service of a company that doesn't reward you in kind.

I'll be sharing more on mental health issues, personally, soon.

some nights, many friends and strangers come forward, looking to help. based on what you tweeted, that was very obvious.

other nights, things are just as rough, but the signs you really want someone to talk to are not so clear. and you find yourself alone with music.

sometimes, even citing beautiful music from an amazing artist, is just expressing appreciation of their music!

other times, if someone is familiar with the music, especially the lyrics or general mood? that alone can be an indicator someone needs a friend.

what if that music artist has a mix of extremely happy songs, based on love and positive emotion...

.. and the rest of their music is about dark, and tragic topics. how many of us listened to "Strange Fruit" not understanding the meaning? Until we eventually did...

our industry teaches us that in pen-testing, body language is huge. a huge step beyond that is NLP, and i have heard of a single company understanding/implementing it in their tests. amazing shit! on the other hand,..

so many of us are bad in a lot of soft skills, none related to corporate culture. we're all guilty, myself included. the world of IMs? IRC? Since then.. Discord? Twitter? Any platform's direct messages? Whatever a person chooses, don't discount the medium.

some of us do catch it, and we reply in kind. others, catch it and reply out-of-band, which shows a more direct level of attention, via a previously established form of comms. doesn't matter *how* you reply, it is important than you do. another critically important factor?

a friend may be hurting one night, and you are simply not available. it happens. do NOT feel guilty you were not there that night, that moment. that is LIFE. what is important is you reply after that, even if a day or two late. show you care! remind them they have friends.

if they make it through their hardship that night, getting past it and finding an overwhelming level of support via multilpel mediums, over 48 hours? that is amazing. it reinforces that friendship is there, even if it can't be timely based on your own crisis.

that's a hard lesson to learn, even days later. that you realize other people have lives and schedules, even if not aligned with your own. a friend responding a day or two later, is just as good a friend as any that responded that minute you were in need.

speaking of race conditions, while i typed this... someone that had reached out days ago was DMing tonight while I typed this thread. they said "i have to sleep now" in so many words, came across as full of guilt. i've been there so many times... a ridiculous number of times...

do as i say, not as i do.

don't apologize, don't feel guilt. you were there, answering the call, helping a friend. that is the best you can possibly do. i literally will not listen to my advice above, and i have been there too many times. but trust me on this.

As I finish listening to Nina Simone on my play list...

None of this thread is what I had typed out largely. That thread will come tomorrow or this weekend, after more sobriety and/or peer review. But I plan to speak on these topics more.