Thread by @LukeMackayCooks

You know how I smoked, then cooked over night in cider, my 3.5 gammon from @farmisonUK? Then glazed it with a cider, mustard and clove syrup- basting it every 10 mins until it was burnished rich mahogany?

Well the fucking dog has just eaten 3/4 of it. Prick.

So we’ve got no glazed ham and any minute now the dog is going to puke and shit all over the kitchen and also he smashed the stupid expensive plate it was on.
Christmas is cancelled. Stupid dog.

@JustHelens is this going to harm the dog? 5 month springer... salt?

I have now spoken to the vet and she absolutely pissed herself. WHY DOES NO FUCKER CARE ABOUT MY SMOKED AND GLAZED GAMMON.

UPDATE: I am sleeping in the kitchen with the stupid dog in case he dies from too much ham because I love that thieving imbecile.

UPDATE: the dog spent the night farting on me and needing urgent toilet breaks in the rain, but seems essentially fine and not dead of too much ham. Thanks to you all for making me laugh all not with tales of dog woe and @farmisonUK for terrific customer service.

He’s fine.

Huck lives at @highgrangedevon. Come visit for feasting, cookery classes, glamping and ham eating hounds.

highgrange.com

It’s a Christmas miracle! Thanks @farmisonUK

Fin.

Thanks @farmisonUK and you lot for reminding me what twitter used to be like....