Thread by @stevecusswords

A thread on organizational anxiety requested by @hunterhambrick_ and @HopefulAndrea.

Systems Theory teaches us that chronic anxiety is ALWAYS contagious in a group and the most anxious person in any group often holds the most power. This can be especially true in churches.

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@hunterhambrick_ @HopefulAndrea Because churches 'are supposed to be nice' and we can confuse 'nice' with 'coddling.' Ed Friedman has plenty to say about this and is almost comical in his model of what feels like cold empathy.

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@hunterhambrick_ @HopefulAndrea And of course 'anxiety' can look like an anger outburst, or powering up, or having the last word. So step one is to focus less on content, what is being said, and pay attention to process, the way people relate.

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@hunterhambrick_ @HopefulAndrea We pay attention to content, but we REACT to process and chronic anxiety is basic REACTIVITY. We all pour our anxiety bucket onto each other in an effort to rid it, but it simply escalates.

So, a careful observation of process, and then of recurring process....

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@hunterhambrick_ @HopefulAndrea With practice over time, you will begin to notice not just process, but recurring predictable patterns. The same person has the last word. The same person never speaks unless called on. The same people have the 'meeting after the meeting.' All organizational anxiety.

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@hunterhambrick_ @HopefulAndrea In a church setting, this can be the biggest challenge for a kind, well meaning small group leader. The same person's chronic need always dominates the group time. Everyone's attention on them. They like the attention every week. Recurring, predictable pattern.

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@hunterhambrick_ @HopefulAndrea Identifying org anxiety is relatively easy. Easy compared to changing it, that is! You probably already can name some patterns, see some process. But how do you change the anxiety dynamic? That is the very difficult and brave process of Systems theory.

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@hunterhambrick_ @HopefulAndrea First, where are you in the org? The higher up, the more power you have to build healthy culture, change anxious systems. In my org, I am 'top of the food chain' and I am aware that means I have the best chance of bringing change.

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@hunterhambrick_ @HopefulAndrea If you work for an unaware of an indifferent leader (or a narcissistic type) whoa nellie. You may not be able to bring much change to the whole system, but you will be able to manage your own anxiety and maybe help a few around you. This is no small thing.

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@hunterhambrick_ @HopefulAndrea But don't under estimate the power of your own well being in an anxious system. It is called #differentiation and I'll post about it another time. A differentiated person can affect a highly anxious system, regardless of their position in the hierarchy.

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@hunterhambrick_ @HopefulAndrea Once you've noticed process and dynamics, next step is to manage your own reactivity. Others can ride the roller coaster, but you have the power and choice to STAY ON THE PLATFORM! Wave goodbye as they go on their roller coaster ride. This is also 'how to parent a teen' :)

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@hunterhambrick_ @HopefulAndrea You'll be surprised at how enmeshed you are, how quickly you catch the anxiety of another and by simply choosing not to, you'll be surprised at your capacity to become a calm presence in an anxious system. The higher up the anxious person, the more their anxiety spills down

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@hunterhambrick_ @HopefulAndrea Anxiety and power are a deadly combination. We're seeing too many pastors with a lot of power and unaddressed anxiety wreak havoc on the system and come away blaming the system. Wowzers.

But differentiated leaders can step in, name the dynamic and clarify values...

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@hunterhambrick_ @HopefulAndrea Getting clear on your values, when they are violated, having calm conversations about tense topics, naming the dynamic between people, seeking clarity on your own complicity, noticing when you're catching another's anxiety. These are all practices to help.

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@hunterhambrick_ @HopefulAndrea But I'd hate to sound like things wrap up neatly. Sometimes you'll get fired if you do this. Sometimes 'the bad guy wins.' Plenty of whistleblowers losing jobs...

It isn't about saving the day, it is about living at peace with integrity and helping those around you.

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@hunterhambrick_ @HopefulAndrea I think we can all agree I've stretched the bounds of twitter with a 15 tweet thread! Big, complex topic, this one. Requires courage. I'm happy to clarify or say more if you need, otherwise, this one is a wrap.

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