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Jewell came to my comedy show last night, walked on stage in the middle of my performance, insisted on speaking into the microphone, and then cried about her daddy later when she walked off stage. She now goes down in comedy history as the first girl to ever do this sober.
Years ago a bachelorette party came to my show and the maid of honor walked confidently up to the stage and then paused and threw up into her hand. Jewell was cuter.
I saw people filming it so I’ll keep searching to see if they post it.
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Jeremy McLellan
@JeremyMcLellan
Dolittle is “one of the worst movie in years,” which means my daughter is going to love it and make me watch it 100 times theatlantic.com/entertainment/…
LOL’d at this: “Characters appear and vanish from the action with no explanation; at one point, Dolittle and company are welcomed aboard a new boat by a bearded man who announces “I’m Jeff!” and is never seen or mentioned again.”
RIP Jeff
Read 3 tweets
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Jeremy McLellan
@JeremyMcLellan
It’s a shame it’s true
Wish it weren’t so but I don’t make the rules
Looking forward to her also saying Islam is inherently anti-Christian and anti-Semitic
Read 3 tweets
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Jeremy McLellan
@JeremyMcLellan
A couple months ago a priest quoted E. Michael Jones in confession.
Everything that was said was fine, just kinda shocked me in the “wow the Internet is leaking into meatspace” sense.
(Wasn’t a trad parish either.)
Read 4 tweets

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The Golden Ratio
@TheGoldenRatio4
Last night I woke up in the middle of the night. I went to get a glass of water, without turning on the lights, and thought I saw Riley curled up in the bathroom. I bent to pet him but of course he wasn’t there. 1/
I headed back to bed but thought “I should write a poem about this.” I forgot all about it until I found this snip in my to do list for today:

I see you in the shadows
Curled up like a croissant
A flake of tail visible until I approach

So there’s an insight into sleepy GR mom
Please note I do not write poems! This is another sign of a troubled late night mind!
Read 3 tweets
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s • taekook aus thread
@taekookwriting
[Taekook AU]

Jungkook is a famous art gallery owner that looks up to an elusive and mysterious painter, Vante. After years of trying to schedule a live paint session, Jungkook finally gets a response back. But when they meet, Jungkook is more stunned by Taehyung than his art.
-will be long

-angst oof 😤

-might cover some heavy topics like depression and suicide but I’ll put warnings before those updates ⚠️

-happy ending 💞
Jeon Jungkook, at age 24, had the textbook definition of a perfect life.

He had studied fine art and business theory in a renowned college abroad and upon returning to Seoul at 22, had invested his savings into procuring art pieces from around the world.

He had worked hard.
Read 252 tweets
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Tren Griffin
@trengriffin
25iQuiz: Everyone who attended the Chappelle/Rogan comedy show last night was forced to put their cell phones and smart watches in a locked bag, which was an attempt to make a non-_ _ _ _ _ product "excludable." What is the five letter word that fills in the blanks?
I'm the oldest person at Chapelle/Rogan. DJ is playing this:

"You're a tough guy, that's enough jokes...
What the f*** though? Where the love go?
Five, four, three, two, where the ones go?
It's a sh** show, put you front row."

Younger people near me saying it's Jay-Z. What?
Regarding rival vs non-rival products, I didn't see *any* Chapelle or Rogan merchandise sold at the event. T-Shirts are rival. google.com/amp/s/25iq.com… Damn autocorrect sneakily changed Rogan to Rihanna, but I caught it this time. It may do it again after I push send.
Read 3 tweets
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Mango_Lioncat
@MLioncat
AU idea I've been toying with writing, kinda blurry on the details. Might take me a while to type it all out since I'm kind of preoccupied atm

NurseConnor gets hired by Hank because he needs extra help taking care of Cole.
Being Lieutenant and on the homicide division leaves him with unpredictable hours, and he feels bad having to call his neighbors at 2 or 4 in the morning if he gets called in, especially with Coles unpredictable condition and with the type of care he requires.
Cole is epileptic, has been since he was a baby, and Hank's ex-wife is less than helpful when it comes to helping her husband and caring for her son. Hank just wants someone to be with Cole when he can't, in case there's an emergency.
Read 1196 tweets
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James True
@jarue369
Last night's show... How flat earth ties to mind control. How the underwater sound hallway (SOFAR) prove flat earth. Why countries aren't what we think they are and more!
People claiming to debunk flat earth in a few days haven't bothered to actually bunk globe earth first. If they had, it would be very clear why there are so many questions.
Globe earth skepticism also exposes how governments have no choice but to work together under a shared umbrella of propaganda. I brought up the ISS during the show last night as one of many examples. The real mind control is pretending what countries all agree on must be true.
Read 3 tweets

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#Else #giraffes #Indivisible #Dreamy #CITIZEN #ImmigrantHeritageMonth #HappyMemorialDay2019 #Art #universally #Color #WorldEnvironmentDay #Leaf #Omarosa #BreakingNews #Vets #Positivity #InspirationalQuotes #Resist #plants #FeedAmerica #ACA #Pride2019 #DemCast #OneVoice1 #taekookau
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