Effectiveness through empathy:
Met 2 new clients today. I realize there are a lot of things I do which if I can properly articulate will help everyone manage relationships better. People aren't rational. No matter how much they claim it.
Met 2 new clients today. I realize there are a lot of things I do which if I can properly articulate will help everyone manage relationships better. People aren't rational. No matter how much they claim it.
When you meet with people you have to let them keep up the facade of "rational", "logical", "thinker". What you are really doing is exchanging emotions. When you walk away you'll like/dislike them. They'll like/dislike you. This is the path of weak pressure applied.
The better outcome is if you can get the other person to love or hate you. You want to elicit strong emotions. Ideally, love so they can allow you to collaborate with them. So does one go about unravelling this mystery?
Just remember this one tweet. Logic is for things. Emotion, in particular, EMPATHY is for human beings. You are there to understand them. You are there to apply logic to their problems. Flip those around and it's the old iron before washing thing.
If they are wrong, don't assume they are wrong. It could be that they can't express the idea properly. It could also be that you misunderstood their point of view. The better step is to say, the words they want to hear, "that's a valid concern/point." See that? VALID.
When people talk to you, they want VALIDATION. But what if they are really actually precisely wrong? That's not what this is about. This is about you measuring their emotional responses to events not the facts. If you focus on facts, you'll lose them.
Now, here's the step. You basically want to emotionally feel their pain. You're like nah, I'm not going to be able to do that. BS. If that was true, you'd never be able to enjoy any movies or novels, or music, or poetry. In which case, you've got bigger problems.
You ever watch that TV show Breaking Bad? Couldn't you see yourself as Walter White? See how you can feel the bad guy and in a genius twist that Vince Gilligan pulled off, cheer for the bad guy? Yeah, most great bad guys are complex and have a reflection of you in them.
Back to the sale, once you FEEL their pain, now it's your turn. They served (them telling your their problems), now it's your turn to volley back. How do I do it? I reframe their problem. I tell them, you got these nice silk/satin sheets but there's a stain on it.
Let me unleash my washing machine on it, we'll remove that stain, and then we'll press it. It'll look amazing. Pain pills sell 10000 times better than vitamins. Why? Pain is immediate. Reframe their pain in your worldview and REPEAT it back to them.
Now to apply some magic. Take their infinite problems, and finite solutions and flip the script. Turn their problems to a finite set, ideally 1 problem. Offer them infinite options. Options? Yes, options, not solutions. A solution is what your washing machine has.
No one wants to know how a washing machine works. Everyone wants to know what you can do when the sheets are clean. I focus on the OPTIONS they'll have once their problem has been solved by my solution. That my friends is how you can work it.
Invert their world. Infinite problems, finite to no solutions. Your job is to reduce the infinite problems to a finite small subset and offer infinite options. When you reduce someone's problems to the core version, their face lights up. They feel like you've taken a load off.
In closing, LOGIC 4 THINGS, EMPATHY 4 PEOPLE. My code is all logic, my clients are all empathy. Empathy the ability to understand & share the feelings of another. Reduce their multidimensional concerns and they will love you. People who love you, will give you almost everything.
Start with empathy, deliver with logic. As we've been repeating here constantly. Wash the shirt, then iron it. Use the insights wisely my friends.
