Negotiations & emotions used for good:
You know what's funny? My dad. He can't negotiate. Like. At. All. He's trying to sell some old phones. He sets prices hoping to see people negotiate him down slightly. The first offer that comes in he freaks out.
You know what's funny? My dad. He can't negotiate. Like. At. All. He's trying to sell some old phones. He sets prices hoping to see people negotiate him down slightly. The first offer that comes in he freaks out.
He figures that's the best he'll get. He becomes emotionally trapped in the options presented to him. He can't process the ideas I try to get him to understand. There are other buyers. You don't HAVE to sell anything, you can just keep them. You can give them to family members...
Of course, he wants to get me involved. I don't because he can't handle the process. He'd drive me nuts. It's kind of amazing to witness him do this. I've been watching this all my life. The reason I know how to negotiate well is because I get a front-row seat watching someone
who fumbles in every conceivable way. When I was younger, I was in charge of returning items for refunds. He would buy them and feel really uncomfortable asking for a refund. I learned to swim in those waters early and often. Why often?
People who can't manage their negotiations also tend to be finicky buyers who experience buyer's remorse more frequently. I remember when I was 7 years old and I wanted to buy some hockey pads. I had a change jar full of pennies, nickels, dimes. The pads cost $120.
I asked him to drive me to the store and we went and I brought this HUGE change jar. Mostly filled with pennies. I sat at the counter while the cashier counted $120 in change. My dad was embarrassed, the cashier was frustrated customers behind us were upset. I did this at 5pm.
It was that day when I discovered my superpowers. As long as I can endure a little discomfort, other people will break. I remember the lady looked at me and had this "god I hate you" look on her face. I said to her on the fly, "don't blame me, I didn't make the money."
I had $70 in bills, but I wanted to get rid of the change I had accumulated. I didn't even know how much change there was in the jar but I knew I didn't want it. It took the lady close to 20 mins to count all the change because she'd keep losing count. I watched all the adults.
Some would be visibly annoyed, my dad was sweating buckets. I stood there and realized if you are right, then the world in the right context has no choice but to accommodate you. I learned that day, the trick to beating people at social exchanges was to turn it into a game.
Whoever could tolerate discomfort the longest won. I had a buddy who lost his hair at age 22. He went into a deep depression. I knew I wanted to avoid this fate. I'd shave my head once a year completely bald. I'd walk into places and have people shocked and not think twice.
I guess it's always been intuitively known to me that in all exchanges people cannot tolerate discomfort. So when I negotiate I make them comfortable in one area and instantly very uncomfortable in another area. They almost always yield. Some people can't take compliments.
You can win them over by just complimenting them. If they grew up in a more colder environment where verbal abuse and physical abuse were more common, they are naturally comfortable in confrontational situations. Throw them off with a compliment and watch.
As my good friend @paulportesi says, it's how you manage your risk profile against the volatility of solving f(x) in emotional payoff space. Take a person slightly out of their comfort space and you can bend them to your will. Use the insights for good. 🤘
